Little do you know.

Chapter one.

-flashback-
Brinley's POV:

My alarm went off and I groaned. It was Wednesday, the worst day to be going to school. I didn't want to wake up, my bed was comfortable, and I was tired. My job had me working until late at night, and even then I had to study. Sadly grades don't just keep themselves up from effort.

I decided to get up, and brush my brown waves leaving them natural. I put on a little bit of eyeliner and mascara just to make it look like I put some effort into my appearance. I wasn't very hungry so I decided to just brush my teeth, and then I'd get dressed.

I put light washed high wasted jeans on, and pulled a plain white tee out, sticking on a purple and black plaid button up, but deciding to leave the buttons undone. To top off the outfit I put on white high topped converses, and grabbed my bag.

My mom was constantly working, so I was alone in the house. I felt empty when I sat in here alone. I was left to my own thoughts that tend to drown me, and to my anxiety attacks to handle alone by myself. I just sat at the island in silence until grabbing a water bottle, and heading out the door. Not bearing to be able to be alone in the small house by myself.
****
"Hey!" My best friend Liah came sprinting toward me. I gave her a small smile and a hello. We walked to our lockers making small talk.

"There is something I need to ask you" Li spoke up. I just gave her a nod of my head to let her know I was listening. "Well, there's a huge party this weekend, and we promised this year would be a year of fun.. But, you still managed to have your nose shoved into your textbooks, and to work all the time. So I'm picking you up at 9, and we are going to this party." She was breathless after her little speech about having fun, and how I'm not fun. And she's right. Maybe a night at a party wouldn't kill. "Let's do it" was my response. Suddenly I was super excited for Friday, and I felt giddy all day and could hardly think during my classes.

********

I drove myself home, and hurried up the stairs to my room. I shut the door, and threw off my plaid and white shirts and exchanging them for my work shirt. Shrugging my jeans down my legs, and grabbing my black skinny jeans to put on and throwing on my black pair of converses. My shift tonight was shorter, and I managed to get my homework assignment done during study hall. Which meant I could come home, shower and manage to get eight hours of sleep. That's the thing about me, I counted how many hours of sleep I would get. I hated getting less than six because I'd practically fall asleep in all of my classes.

I took an apple, and headed out the door and to the small ice cream shop. I hated working here it always smelled of lemon cleaning solutions, it was small, and the men were creeps. But, money was money since I refused to use up my moms. I knew one day I would get her trust fund, but I wanted to use my own money. I didn't love having it handed to me.

Six hours later, and my shift was finally over. "Bye Charles!" I yelled to my assistant manager in the back and before I headed out he yelled at me back "drive safe Brin!" I laughed. You get into one minor car accident and that's all you hear from everyone.

Truth be told Charles will be the only person I actually listen too. I hate rules. Their not for me. I'd find a way to bend them, and not give a damn about the consequences. The only thing I cared about was maintaining my grades to get out of this small town. I didn't like that nothing happened here. I didn't like the confinement or the familiar backgrounds. I wanted something so much more. I wanted passion, and adventure. I wanted a life where I guided myself, and where I was free. No rules. No guidelines. No boundaries. Just me and whatever I wanted. I knew that would only be content for awhile, and eventually I would miss everything. But, deep down I knew that's exactly what I wanted. And I wouldn't ever get that here.

As I pulled up into my drive way I noticed my moms car parked. I was thankful that she'd be home, and that it wouldn't be so lonely. But, in a way it was lonely. We had a huge house to ourselves. My dad never stuck around with us too much, and I knew it killed my mom just as much as it did me. I knew from her drinking habits when she wasn't at work, and I knew it killed me from my sadness and the hole that was empty from the lack of his presence. My mom was all I had, and I barely felt like I had her.

I walked up the porch steps and into the white bricked house. It was silent, and by the lack of lights I knew she was already in bed. Guess it is actually quite lonely here.

Left alone to myself.
Left alone to break and to the pain that over takes me.