The Price of Love

Moment of Truth....

~TUESDAY MORNING~

Kelly left and went home last night. I went upstairs, took a shower, and went to sleep. I wasnt even hungry and to my surprise, the baby slept soundly. I was relieved, because I was too tired to get up and go down stairs to get some food. Finally, I awoke around 10am, and as always the baby was hungry. I was on my way down to the kitchen to get some food, when my phone rang. I picked up without actually looking at the caller id, as the baby was having a fit because I stopped to answer the phone. Its like I have eyes in my womb. It was Chris. Once again for the millionth time in a week, it was Chris. Great, just great. "Hello? Chris, what do you want? No really Chris, What do you want? Why do you keep calling me?" "Jaida, you still mad at me about the concert?", he asked sound poutish. "What do you think Chris? You blew me off to go out with your friends at the last minute as if our date didn't mean anything to you." I was pissed. "Jaida, I'm sorry. I could've told you this long ago if you would answer my calls and stop ignoring me. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you. Can I at least do that, please? Tomorrow night, I want to take you out any place you like, maybe we could go get a cup of coffee and a bite to eat or something. Whatever you want. What do you say?" The baby is so having a tantrum inside me, it is kicking the crap out of me. "Okay whatever, right now I got to go, okay? I'll call you later." I have to admit, I hated to be mad at him, because he is so fine. He has tried to get in contact with me numerous times, but I just ignore him. I'm gonna stop ignoring him so much. I have to admit, I don't know many guys that would call one woman all day every day for 3 weeks straight. I liked the way things were before. Everything was soo good. 

~WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON~

I called Kelly and told her of my plans, so she came over to help me dress. I can't believe I agreed to go out with Chris tonight. I can't find one dress that fits, and nevermind heels. My feet aren't having it. I guess I'll have to go with a sweater and skinny jeans with hi-tops shoes. I'm kinda small so I'm not showing as much, but if you look close enough you can tell I am pregnant. Good thing Chris doesn't pay as much attention to detail or he would've already noticed that I ate all the chocolate from his car glove compartment on our last date. I don't know if I can tell Chris about the baby tonight. I already have enough stress going on right now, I just want one night of peace. One night, thats all. He arrived an hour late at about 9pm in a pretty Royal Blue Mercedes-Benz, where did he get that from? Its gorgeous, a major beauty. He looked surprised to see my attire for the evening.I was wearing an over-sized pink sweater and black skinny jeans with white hi-top sneakers trimmed in pink, and my hair parted on the side with a Madonna-style black bow on the side and pink ball earrings. I like it, but if he doesn't, he can turn that beautiful car right back around and scroll back down the street to wherever he came from. "Well don't you look just adorable?" Sarcastic ass. "And don't you look just dignified?" Right back at you jerk. We're already getting off to a bad start. "Jaida, come on. Give me a chance, will ya?" I roll my eyes, I hate guys. Uh oh, I guess the baby can feel my anxiety, its kicking. I like it though, it comforts me and lets me know that the baby is okay. Kelly was right, the baby feels everything I feel. In laymans terms, right now if the baby were born, he would've kicked his ass already. Or at least pooped in his hand. Come to think of it, I would kind of like that. If thats the kind of thing that would scare him off......................

2 hours and several disagreements later, we arrive back at the park where my car is parked. "So did you have a good time with me tonight?" Gosh his eyes are so beautiful, and the way he looks at me. It could make any girl lose her mind. Or in my case, her temper. He needs a personality that matches his looks. I tried to have a good time, but my mind just kept wandering off back to Blondie McDreamy. Boy, was he ever his namesake. Which he didn't notice during his self-absorbed conversations about himself, which at the risk of hearing him talk about himself for another minute, I chose to let my mind wander. Chris kept trying to kiss me all night, but I just kept "accidentally" spilling my coffee in his lap. Silly me, he bought me 3 cups. Of course I never took a sip out of any of them, because of my condition. Never one to waste things, I put them to good use. I mean we did have our good moments. We took a walk on the park, dined at a lovely french restaurant, "Avec Amour, de Paris",  he even acted like a gentlemen and only talked about himself for half our date. Thats a first. Of course any other topic we tried to cover eventually lead back to him anyway. He didn't open any doors, pull out any chairs, nor did he give me his coat when I said I was a little chilly. I wasn't cold, I just wanted to see his reaction, which depicts his personality as just that, his. If only I were that selfish, I would hate myself too. I mean, I don't want to paint a bad picture of him, but the writing is on the walls. "It was okay. Could've been better." You should've seen the look on his face, as if he had a reason. "Come on Jaida, you're really busting my chops here." Here comes the hormones. "And you're really working my nerves. I don't even know why I agreed to go out with you tonight, I should've just stayed home." That must've really got to him. "MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE, AND I SHOULD'VE MAYBE TAKEN A GIRL OUT THAT WOULD ACTUALLY APPRECIATE THE THINGS I DO AND GIVE HER!", he yelled. "OH JUST GROW UP CHRISTOFER! A REAL MAN DOESN'T SHOWER A WOMEN IN GIFTS AND CALL HER 24 HOURS A DAY BECAUSE HE WANTS INSTANT GRATIFICATION! A REAL MAN DOESN'T NEED IT!", I spat back. "YOU KNOW SOMETHING JAIDA, NOTHING I EVER DID SINCE THE DAY I FIRST TOOK YOU OUT WAS RIGHT. NOTHING I DO PLEASES YOU OR MAKES YOU HAPPY, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE!" I knew I had made him angry by then, but that opened my eyes to see what he was really looking for. He showered me in gifts, and took me on dates because he was hoping to get sex in return. Thats why he kept trying to kiss me earlier tonight. "THATS THE MOST SENSIBLE THING YOU'VE SAID ALL NIGHT, NOTHING YOU EVER DO IS RIGHT BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT RIGHT! YOU WANTED TO SLEEP WITH ME. YOU NEVER LIKED ME, THATS WHY YOU KEPT TRYING TO KISS ME AND ORDER FOR ME TO GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY. YOU MADE IT SEEM LIKE YOU CARED, BUT REALLY YOU WERE JUST AFTER SEX.  I CANT BELIEVE I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL FOR IT. BUT NO MORE, WE ARE THROUGH. JERK.", I turned and stormed off toward my car. I really hate guys. I got in and put on my seatbelt as he was coming around to my car. I locked the doors and started the ignition as a tear started to make its way down my cheek. I retreated back to my house. I didn't have the want nor the strength to call Kelly. I just wanted to go to sleep, I'll call her in the morning. Anyway, if I don't call her, she will definitely call me. Tonight was really bad. I mean to be totally honest, I really didn't want it to work to start with. I already had my mind made up abput him when he canceled our date to go out with his friends at the last minute. I just want to call it quits with that guy. I wish he would just take a hint and leave me alone. I really hate stressing my baby out, I feel like a bad mommy for even letting this situation get this far to the point where I'm even going anywhere with this low-class jerk. My unborn baby deserves better than this.

 ~THURSDAY MORNING~

I went to sleep. I was so exhausted. The baby didn't sleep too soundly last night. It was doing aerial flips inside me, I think I got myself a baby gymnist. After a while though, the baby settled down and I finally got to sleep. I feel surprisingly good today especially after all that stress from last night. Its 12pm right now and I havent heard from Chris yet. Maybe he got the picture. I havent heard from Kelly yet either. Thats kinda weird, because she usually calls. Maybe she is still asleep. Whatever, I'll just go downstairs and get me some Maple&Brown Sugar Oatmeal and a Strawberry Smoothie. I choose to eat downstairs just so I dont lay around in bed all day. As I am eating my breakfast, I hear a knock at the back door. Hmmmmmm, thats odd, arent people supposed to use the front door? I look out the curtain to see David standing there. Hmmmmm again. Arent lying, cheating, not-ready-for-a-baby exes supposed to avoid you at all costs? I start to tip-toe upstairs and leave him to knock. It wouldve been easier to pretend I wasnt home if my car wasnt parked outside instead of in the garage. It is seldom that I leave my car in the driveway, I always park it in the garage. David knows that.. He also knows that I wasnt expecting him to be at my back door and is trying to pretend that I am not home. I get halfway up the stairs when I realize that I left the TV on. David knows that the only way I leave the television on is if I am at home. I'm a firm believer in saving energy. He hasnt stopped knocking yet. Okay fine, I go see what he wants. I open the door to see my ex standing there with flowers, beard stubble, eww and definitely b.o. "Okay David, what do you want?", I say with my arms folded across my chest. "Uhh hey Jaida. I was just in the neighborhood, and wanted to say hi and see how you and my baby are doing. Uh, these are for you. Here." He says as he leans forward to hand me the flowers. Apparently he just rolled out of the bed and showed up here, because he hasnt brushed his teeth either. "Mhmmm, so let me get this straight. I havent seen you in almost 4 months, the nerve of some people.. Lets see, you cheat on me for half of our relationship, break off an engagement for a one night stand, reject my unborn child, and nearly destroy my relationship with my parents. You used me, manipulated me, and threw me away like used toilet paper. Then left me for some cheap slut that took all your money and kicked you out. You then realized that you have no place to go so now you show up here smelling like the entire garbage factory with dead flowers you stole from a cemetery and you expect me to believe that you were in the neighborhood, right? Just checking. Okay, "my" baby and I are fine, no thanks to you. Well it was nice talking to you, I'm glad we did this...........Bye." I go to shut the door and he sticks his foot in it. I knew it was too easy. "Jaida wait! I need to talk to you. Please, can I come in?" I roll my eyes. "I just want to apologize for everything, and explain myself to you. You deserve an explanation." I roll my eyes again. " Oh, I get it. Yes I agree with you, I deserve an explanation and a few other things, but you can do to standing out here. What do you need to come in for? Nothing you say is going change anything. You made your choice, and I made mine. I may deserve one, but coming from you its not worth much anyway so dont waste your breath. You've already wasted enough of my time. You can have the flowers back. As nice as they are, they are as worthless to me as you are. I'll see you around David, bye." I go to shut the door and I realize that he doesnt try to stop me. I feel terrible about slamming the door in his face, but he deserves it. He put me through so much, but I dont need him. I plan to do the same thing with Chris. I dont need anymore wasted space in my life. Besides, they wont have any room to stay. That space will be taken over by my want to love my child more than I love myself. Though it hasnt been long since I met the little one, it seems to make me feel better than people I've known forever.