A Phan Story of an Author, a dreamer, and Two Diaries

4

Phil's POV

He had friends, and then he had friends.

PJ, Charlie, Louise, Cat, Chris... Those were his friends, the people he could actually count on (for the most part, anyway). His friends were the people that liked him because of his money, not because of his personality. His friends were the ones who laughed about him behind his back, they were the suck-ups, the greedy ones, they were selfish, needy, and just plain mean! They were the popular ones, popular because of their money and their messed-up reputation. Phil was popular, not just for his family's money, but because he was nice. Phil was likable, unlike the majority of the other popular kids. Phil stood up for the underdog, because he'd been the underdog before, and he knew that it made people feel worthless to be picked on.

It had made him feel worthless, too.

Diary,

He wrote.

No, that sounds too formal. What should I call you? How about... TheAmazingBookThatIWriteIn?

TABTIWI for short.

Or T.

Just T.

So, it's time you become acquainted with my randomness! I'm Phil, or Philip Michael Lester. I like lions and video games and YouTube.

Also, I'm gay.

No, T, not the gay that means "happy", the gay that means "I like people that are the same gender as I am".
I do, T.

I've dated girls before, and then I've dated guys.

Charlie, one of my best friends... We were a thing for a while, before we both decided to put our academic lives ahead of our personal lives. Honestly, Charlie is a great person, but I just don't think that we would've worked out, and I think that he knew that as well. It was just easier to use school as an excuse, and frankly, it didn't hurt. If it had been one of those cliché "it's not you, it's me", things, I would've been offended. But it wasn't, and we're still good friends.

Still, there are some days when I miss being in a relationship. Not because of all of the things that you might be thinking, but because my house is huge and I feel like I need somebody to be right next to me, arm around my shoulders, sitting on the couch, letting me have all of the popcorn, letting me pick the movie, actually being involved. I love my friends, but there are just some days when I want somebody to be more than that. Frankly, I don't think that I'd be in a relationship with any of my best friends, but I just...

Nevermind, T, let's talk about different things! Like plants! I love plants.

(A/N- Phil continues to talk about plants until he realizes he needs to go to school. Comment if you can see Phil being late to school because he was having a serous discussion with his diary about plants.)

Well, T, it appears our time is up!

MY EDUCATION AWAITS