Dormans

Chapter 12

"Argh.... I'm such an idiot !" I yell, though it was muffled by my pillow. Why... Why ... Why ?! Why the hell am I so stupid ! That moment was so awful ! So wrong ! So.... Nice.

No no no no !

Since my last crush I had sworn I wouldn't get attached to anyone and here I am, getting to like the guy who'll ignore as well as never compliment me... Instead of someone who'll be sweet and stupid and protective... Like Nick ! Or Derrick... He's also sweet.

"Gaah!" I yell again, burying my head in my pillow... Inhaling last few sniffs of home.

I'm hungry... I miss Kristen... I am too random for my own good.

WHY ?

Looking up from my pillow I see the leather sofa and the TV just aching for me to see what's going on. Getting up, I let my fuzzy slippers muffle my footsteps as I head towards the couch, flopping down on it, and propping my leg on the headrest.

The epitome of feminism: a girl with glasses, a cat shirt, grey three-fourths and fuzzy slippers, a.k.a me.

Switching on the tv.. I scroll through channels and channels before landing on one piece ! Yes !

"Sanji you lovesick idiot" I chuckled, watching how he got electrocuted just for nami. She's stupid.. Not realizing that sanji would go to the moon and back to have her safe in his arms. Awe... I want a devil fruit. I'm hungry...

I'm still random.

Lucky or unlucky.. I'm yet to decide, Derrick went out to have a talk with both Harris and Nick. I couldn't even talk to max because he keeps avoiding us.. I need more friends preferably a girl so people don't think I'm a slut.

Letting my eyes roam over my choice of wardrobe I chuckle, yep, people will definitely think I'm a slut.

Letting my face lay on the arm rest, I watch a bit more of one piece before sudden rage fuels me and I jump up screaming.

"WHY THE HELL AM I SO WEAK ?!"

I'm such a fucking idiot...

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IM LETTING THIS RUIN THE TINY BIT OF FRIENDSHIP WE HAD....IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" I yell pacing around, clutching my face when the door opens and Nick enters, his face filled with shock and concern. I groan and sit on my bed, covering my face.

I feel him sitting close to me and wrapping his arms around me, pulling me onto his chest. I let my head rest on his shoulder as we sit in silence. Thoughts consuming my brain.

"Why were you screaming" he murmurs against my ear and I feel his breath lingering there. Looking straight ahead, I say.

"I was just mad at myself" he tightens his grip around me and I snuggle deeper into his chest, clothed with a fitted green shirt, showing off his broad shoulders and abs.

Any normal girl would be drooling and worshipping his washboard abs... I however was too bummed to notice.

"Why?" he asks, and I feel genuine concern lacing his words. He really cares... Why not him.. Why can't I like him.

"Was just pissed off that we haven't tried to escape yet I guess... I don't know" I sigh and remove my glasses, cleaning them with the hem of my shirt.

"So why were you saying that you were weak" his hearts beating so loudly, I can hear it as clear as a booming bass. It's fast too, either he's nervous or he likes me.

Why's he nervous.

"I am weak.. I'm not as strong as you, I'm not as logical as Harris, not as knowledgable about this place as Max, don't have outside sources like Derrick... Plus I'm too emotionally unstable to be in this thingie"

Did I really say thingie..

Stupidity at its finest.

I'm still a fucking idiot...

"You're not.. You know that right?" He asks and I blankly nod, it's lies anyways, why would they be true ? He's just lying to get me to feel better. Though it does help, and it lets me believe why many girls in school were crushing on him, masculinity and sensitivity. The epitome of a perfect boyfriend. At least to me.

Derrick wouldn't do that, he would be frank and tell me that I am too sensitive, he wouldn't be holding me like this, rubbing my back like my mum did. He wouldn't be murmuring sweet nothing's to me, the fact that he held my hand when I woke up after my fainting attack had shocked me. He has a big heart I know, but he has trouble showing it.

So why do I like him more than the obvious choice holding me ? I don't get my mind...

"Hey nick.. ?" I ask, murmuring into his chest.

"Yeah"

"Do you like someone ?"

WHY... Did I ask that question? Eh screw it, it's a good conversation diverter

He tenses up and I cringe, expecting him to let go of me, instead he holds on tighter, maybe he does have a crush but he's scared.

"Yeah... I do, I-I just know that it will be impossible for me to be with her"

"Why ? You can be with her" I say whilst changing my position so I could look into his green eyes. I'm always a sucker for light eyes.

"It's hard Kay, if I tell her it could ruin everything between us"

"You have to then make it obvious to her, if she responds similarly she may be interested, but then again, every girl is different.. But taking a risk is definitely something you have to do"

He bends his head towards mine so that our foreheads touch, making me gasp softly. He smiled softly before he mutters, his breath hitting my lips.

"I've made it as obvious as possible... But she's too naive" is it May ? She is a bit naive, plus she's pretty so I guess that's good too. Or maybe Gemma, no... She's too independent as well as very knowledgable about sexual innuendo.

"Then you have to be bolder, if she's that naive then she's stupid, you're an amazing guy Nick, but then again I would be like her, I would never believe that a guy would like me unless I got a slap or a kiss" I said, chuckling awkwardly. We barely had any space between us and the air was getting thicker, suffocating me. Yet I didn't want to move, it felt so nice to be in a close proximity with someone.

Plus his eyes, gosh those beautiful emerald eyes. If I had to lean in, even an inch, I would get my first kiss.

"I can't just kiss her, even though I want to" he breathed out, closing his eyes and creating some distance between us.

"You need to find the perfect opportunity, then seize it" I say, missing the closeness already.

"What if she hates me after it" he asks, his eyes pleading.

"I guess you should make sure that she likes you"

Nodding his head, he scoots back on my bed so that he could rest his back, leaning on his chest, I gaze into the distance, my eyes drooping with exhaustion.

I wonder who is the girl he likes? I wondered till I lept into the darkness of slumber.