Don't Play With Me

Don't Play With Me, Norma

When I was a child, heck even now, I'd notice the sweet love between a child and their mother. It was so innocent, sweet, and lovely. I yearned for that. I envied the parents who had held each others' hands, looking at each other like it was the last time they would ever lay eyes on one another. I envied the thought of never having a care for the world, when all you could do is love those around you. I'd thought I had that once, but I was a fool to think it.

When I was with Sam, we had a few of those moments. Of course, it never lasted long. I remember having friends over for a get together. It was a beautiful day. The steak was cooking on the grill. We were all laughing. Norman was playing with the other kids. Sam was sitting on the lawn chair with the adults, while I was sitting on the arm, my hands oscillating between playing with his hair and caressing his shoulders.

"Your house is beautiful, Norma" called one of them.

"Thank you, thank you, I've been thinking about renovating this place. I've always had a soft spot for beautiful, elegant curtains and vintage furniture... Just to make the home.. A little more like us, you know."

" yeah, yeah, of course. I understand. I've been nudging Ryan to do just the same!" She punched her husbands arm in a joking manner.

"Norman, honey, come over here! go wash your hands. You're all muddy." I patted the grass off of his knees and said,"Give me a kiss, I love you"

"Yes, mommy."

Norman always obeyed me. He was the sweetest child there was. We had a special kind of relationship. I looked at Sam and he had given me a disappointing stare. He always had when I had said or had done things he didn't approve or agree of. He also got mad when I gave more affection to Norman than to him. It made him jealous.

"He's a child Norma, come on. Leave him be." He'd said tensely.

I ignored him. That's all I could've done, since there were guests.

"Help me with the drinks would you, Norma."

I followed him and after he had closed the back door, he pinned me against the wall. I was scared and I could feel the tears beginning to form in the back of my eyes.

"Am I not good enough for you, Norma? Huh? Are all the things I buy for you not good enough?"

"No, honey they're, they're great. Let's just grab the drinks, okay? We have guests over, baby. They could probably hear us, let's just go, okay?" I tried to walk towards the kitchen, but instead he raised his voice and grasped my hands.

"You don't love me is that it. You love Norman more than me, I know it. You've never loved me."

Sam had a temper. It wasn't there when I first met him, but it slowly began to develop after I married him. The only way to calm him down was to just let him believe that he was always right. It was really the only way. He pulled my arm that day and led me to the bathroom. He pulled my skirt off and made me repeat my love for him. It made me cringe. He unbuckled his belt and turned me around, so that I would face the wall. He was being so violent. My fists began to clench against the wall each time he had thrusted himself into me. I silently began to cry because I had to. I could hear Norman's little footsteps stopping at the door. I'm sure he could hear our voices, for he kept calling my name.

"Great, just great. Dammit, put your clothes back on." He gave me a small shove and began to buckle his pants again.

"Norman, honey! We'll be out there in just a minute." I had said in between my sniffles, while I put my panties back on. I was trying my best not to break down. My mascara had run down with my tears as I began to wipe them off. My eyes red from sobbing, I began to freshly apply make up and act as if nothing had happened.