Letters To You

Letters To You (9)

Dearest Christopher,

What happened to us? Where did things go wrong? What changed between us, altered the love we had once so vividly felt? I can't say that I know the answer. And I am more than certain you don't either. How could you? You're happily married.

I've changed. My favorite color is blue, I love to run, and I listen to a lot of Latin music. You taught me how to dance to this mannnnnyy years ago and I still move my hips like a white girl. I haven't changed in that perspective. I'm studying in online classes that help me reach my dream. It's changed a lot since we were young, but I really want to do something to give back to my community. Leave my mark on them, as you would say.

Austin has decided that he's ready to leave his apartment an buy a house. He's 27. It's about time to find a residence. But I think it's kinda silly. He's a bachelor, not in a serious relationship, and is working full time as the manager of Dilliard's Department Store. He wants to own his own restaurant and he will actually be getting his degree in culinary. He cooks like something amazing.... You never were able to master the art. Remember the one time I really was craving some Mac and cheese? It was right after high school and my menstrual cramps over powered all my senses. Not only that, but my craving was for a grilled cheese that had bacon and ketchup. Weird right? Only the pain in my stomach wouldn't ease up enough to allow me to stand and I fell within my first attempt. You by chance, were already on your way over to my house. I was alone at home, you let yourself in with your handy dandy key and saw me in the fetal position on the floor. By that time I was in tears. You made me my sandwich and picked me up from the floor, cradling me like a new born. Your chest was so firm and mine felt so weak.

I remember wondering if you would ever like me romantically, if this was more than just a platonic relationship between us. We were sophomores at the time. You kissed me on the forehead, not unusual for us. What was unusual was the butterflies that erupted inside me. Why did I have this mushy gushy feeling inside of me? Did I take too many pain relievers. But as soon as your lips left my skin, coldness seeped through my body. I needed you with me. So I pulled you into the bed with me. I stayed curled up tight, but you managed to wrap your arms around me; you kept me safe.

Two days later, we were in class together doing notes or class work or something. But the teacher Mr. Smith said that we had a pop quiz. Pull out a sheet of paper; this wasn't a surprise. He'd been hinting one for a week now. I'm searching through my backpack for paper when I hear gasps echo through out the room. What the....?

I look up.

My heart literally stopped for a second.

There you were, holding a bouquet of yellow tulips, my favorite kind of flower. On the board you had written, will you Truly Evermore, be mine forever more?

You asked me to be yours. As in your girl. Oh. My. Gosh!!!!! I squealed and let out a yes. Actually several yes'. I hugged you really close to me. I whispered in your ear, thank you for making it so special. You kissed my forehead. The butterflies went beserk in my stomach, seeming to have machine guns aiming at me, striking me over and over again. You took me out to dinner that night.

It was McDonalds happy meals for the two of us, at a landfill where the stench was awful. I almost started questioning what you were doing. I prayed that this wasn't what our entire relationship was going to be like. But after about 10 minutes with the nauseating smell, you looked at me with a proud smile an asked if I wanted to go anywhere else. "Why are we here?" I asked you. "I wanted to see if you would go on the worst possible date of your existence with me, so that all the rest seem so much better in comparison." A pretty clever idea on your part.

I knew in that moment, that you might possibly be that one who changes everything in my life.

When I kissed you, the night of our beginning, you tasted so much better than anything I could ever describe and the look in your eyes told me that no matter what, I wanted to be with you and you wanted to be with me.

Those were the days.

Our days.

You didn't know it, but I loved you then.

Austin's about to pick me up for dinner; we are going on a double date with Laura and her husband, Matt. (The very same that you scared away). We're going to a restaurant that's not very wild and then back to my house for some drinks and a good time.

How is it that my daily life no longer requires you?

Sincerely,

Truly Evermore