Relinquished Love

Admitting Feelings

Hi guys, again you will need to read the R-rated book in my works for this chapter.

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***Alexis***

I sat up and watched Xavier carefully, 

"You're going to war for me?" the whole concept to me was strange, why not save the pack by giving me up?

"Of course, you're my mate and I love you Alexis" Xavier turned to me, his eyes sincere as he admitted how he felt. 

I stared at him with my mouth open, 

"I love you" Xavier repeated, watching my face, waiting for me to say it back.

I continued to watch him, answering him by crawling forward and placing my lips on his.

***

I was tired, and I was worried tomorrow the whole pack would be fighting to keep me in the pack, to keep me safe. 

I was scared I would lose those dearest to me; Chelsea and Ryan, Aurora and Xavier, Dimity, Cheslea's baby, Andrea. I felt guilty that they had to fight for me. I felt so guilty I couldn't sleep.

I untangled myself from under Xavier's arm, he was fast asleep and didn't stir even as I closed the door behind me. I tiptoed down the stairs and into the pack kitchen. I would make myself some wheetbix. 

I began to pour the milk, still in my induction dress. Xavier hadn't taken it off, too busy to make love to me. 

I smiled, knowing I smelt strongly of Xavier and sex.

I took my bowl and sat at the dining room table, lost in my own world, before I knew it i had a guest.

"Hi Alexis, what's on your mind?" Aurora smiled at me, it was dark and I had not turned any lights on.

I sighed, half startled, 

"I feel guilty for you all going to war tomorrow"

"Alexis, with you being our luna we must protect you. We want to protect you. Losing our Luna and our friend is just too hard for half this pack to understand or even think about"

"But what if you die, or Ryan dies? He has a child and a mate he will be leaving behind" I argued, pushing my bowl aside to talk to Aurora. 

"Yes but he also has a sister to protect and family comes first. Everyone in this pack house is family, and when one member is in danger we all are. We will fight for family, and I know you would fight for us if the roles were reversed" Aurora smiled and picked up my bowl, placing it in the sink.

"Alexis, as a sister of the Alpha and a friend of yours, you must understand me when I say that we will protect you because we love you. We would go to war for anyone within this pack. Tomorrow Xavier and my mother can come and attack us. Yes people will die, but they died protecting you. You cannot sit and mope, you must help and understand that there is nothing you can do. Xavier loves you and so do we"

Aurora smiled and made her way upstairs, leaving me alone in the dark.

I sighed and decided Aurora was right, I made my way down to the infirmary, It was only around 10:00pm, I was looking for the doctor.

"Alexis, how can I help?" Doctor Clarence asked, 

"I want to help you tomorrow with all the wounded" I replied, following Clarence as he made his rounds. 

"Well your training with Aurora will be useful amongst the infirmary patients. I'm sure you will be able to" Clarence smiled, "Though you must understand that not all of them will be able to be saved" Clarence turned to me, his face a mixture of truth and agony.

"I understand" 

Clarence nodded and smiled, 

"Tomorrow I will have your scrubs ready and other such things you will need. Make sure you come down when Xavier does" Clarence smiled, bidding me goodnight.

I walked the halls of the pack house aimlessly, unsure of where I was meant to me going. 

I finally found my way back to Xaviers room, I fell asleep next to him, my head on his chest.