Happy endings never last

6

" no rain
no flowers" - d.h.

Will is shouting the small white ball with his stick so the ball pushes down its target with a little click.

"Nice shot." I pat him on the shoulder as Darren scrawls. Darren and Will are playing a game of pool and Darren is losing.

"Hey, boys."  I recognize Lex's voice right away as I turn around to face her. A wide grin is playing on her lips. She gently peck Darrens  lips but she clearly notice me staring her down. So she, of course, frowns before she widens her eyes and stare at me back, just to mock me.

I know she talked to Lyra.

"So... Are you going to leave me hanging or what?" I tap on the pool tables dark wood frame impatiently.

We are currently in the 'hobby' room of our collage. We spend a lot of time here between classes. It's not a small room but it's not big ether. It has a few vending machines, sofas and games.

"No, hello Lex? No, nice to see you? You look great? Do you know how much you mean to me, Lex?-"

"Okay I get it."

She smugly smile at me. She has always  had that look. Since we where children and she knew something I didn't she just had to throw it in my face till I went insane of not knowing.

"Well.. I had a little chat with Lyra." She says as if it's nothing. As if she didn't had a conversation with the most beautiful girl ever, or the girl that's driving me nuts.

"What did she say?" I eagerly ask.

"Well she said she wasn't interested in a relationship, she just wants to finish school, no drama."

"Ugh." I drag a had through my messy hair in frustration. How hard can she be? And from the short conversations I have gotten with her I know she is quite headstrong. " so what do I do?"

" I don't get it man." Will speaks. I'm not really super close with Will. We talk sometimes, his in my football team so we spend some time together but we aren't all buddy buddy with each other outside of practice. " why are you so hung up on her? You have never been so before."

"Yeah, I don't get it ether." Darren speaks, wrapping an arm around Lex's shoulders, dragging her closer to him.

" I-I." I really don't know the answer. I just feel the need to get to know her. Like its my duty to know everything about her, like its my call. She is just to great to ignore. My mama always said that if you fined a person you believe is worth of your time, you should at least get to know the person, you might only come by one of those people that you feel dragged to once in your life. And Lyra was that person for me.

"What is I will be her friend, did she say anything about that?" I change the subject back to Lyra and turn to Lex.

"I don't know. She didn't specifically say that she doesn't want a friend if i remember right. Just keep in mined that she doesn't seem like a bubbly girl who will tell you all her deepest secrets after ten minutes." Lex snuggle up agains Darren and is almost looking at my with sympathy in her eyes. She knows this is new and rare for me, that I don't get this much interest in a girl easily. She knows me like the back of her hand.

I just nod. I feel like a friendship is worth trying. I can't promise I won't make a move on her, I mean how can you not? She is just too gorgeous not to, you must be blind to miss that and even if you are blind you would properly fall in love with that stunning voice of hers.

•••

It has started to rain. I sit on my fire emergency staircase. I always have liked it here, especially when it's raining. I look over at the city's glimmering lights, Listening to the rain falling down without mercy.

"Mommy, why does it rain?" I looked up at her with my big blue eyes that then was too big for my small and chubby face.

"It rains because the angels are crying." She simply said. But I still didn't get it. A cold breeze went past us from where we are waking, down the street in the rain with mostly moonlight lighting up our way.

"But angels don't cry. They are strong and magical, they don't cry." I stubbornly said.

"Everyone cries, Lyra. Even those who you see as the strongest."

"Do you cry mommy?" I asked. Mommy didn't cry, she was to beautiful and brave. She didn't cry.

"Yes, of course I do." She suddenly looked hurt, like something bothered her. Her bright brown eyes carried a sorrow I couldn't understand, nor connect.

I shake my head at the memory. If I only I knew that my mom cried more than I could imagine.

I look up to the cloudy evening sky and let my salty tears mix with fresh water drops from the sky.

"Mom." I sob "I miss you so much." My voice sounds so week. "Please come back to me. Mom, why did you leave me? I need you. Mom, please come back."

I feel like every emotion that I have closed in is overwhelming me and is now coming out. I'm alone, I can't pay my bills, I will probably get wrecked from my apartment soon, I can't forget, I'm not mentally stable, my dad hates me, I miss my mom... I miss her so much... And it's all my fault.

"Mommy no!" I scream so loudly my voice barely barys and breaks countless if times even though it's such a short sentence. The two men in dark clothing looks at me and mommy who lies on the ground until one of them, the one who didn't shot mommy drags the other one with him, away from us, until they are gone.

"Mommy!" I scream out again. Her pretty blush pink dress has a growing spot of blood coming from the stomach, from where she carries the baby. I try too look at her eyes but I can barely see anything through the tears that are blocking my view. "Mommy!" I cry out again and again and again until everything blurs away.

"I'm sorry mom." I look up to the sky, looking at the shapeless cloud. "It's all my fault." my shoulder shakes of my cries. "I'm sorry, it should have been me. I'm sorry mom. Come back, please come back to me." I cry till it feels like there isn't any fluids in my body anymore. I have cried over this too many times. So many times I can't bare the pain.

Everything just feels empty.