The Truth Behind HIS Closed Doors.(completed)

Part 3

The next day I couldn't even look at Leon the same way ever again, but at the same time I felt more confident and alive. I have a feeling that this is going to be the day I will tell Linda how I feel. I just need to get her on her alone.

I spent the rest of the day following her around trying to speak to her but I couldn't so i gave up and was about to walk out of the crowded canteen when someone put a hand on my shoulder, I turned around to see Linda's bright green eyes looking into mine with concern. "h,h,hi Linda" I stammered
"What's wrong Jarred? you've been following me all day" she asked me with a frown "I want to speak to you in private" I whisper
"um I didn't hear you" Linda replied pointing to her ear
"I need to speak to you in private" I ask a bit louder
"OK then, lets go".

I walk next to her, out the front of the college, and I couldn't help but stare at her from the corner of my eye, something in me was screaming this is wrong and don't go through with it but my mind heart was saying it was what I wanted.

Somehow I started thinking of Leon kissing me in the shower his gentle fingers touching my back softly and groping me, my stomach felt like it flipped.
"No stop thinking about it" I told myself in my head.
"Stop thinking about what" Linda smiled at me and put her hand in mine, it felt alien to me, not like when Leon holds my hand.

****************
Flash back

"Jarred, run this way" Leon dragged me by the hand down the street towards his house.
"GET BACK HEAR BOY OR YOU WILL GET WORSE TONIGHT"
My dad roard chasing after us, but soon gave up and turned around.

We slowed our pace infront of Leons house and leaned on his brick wall breathing hard. I stared at Leon in shock, tears still running down my cheeks burning my newly swollen bust lip and cut cheek.
"Its ok Jarred...I saved you, and happy 13... birthday by the way" he said trying to catch his breath he then smiled at me kindly at me. I smiled back looking at his brused eye that was starting to sweel up.

******************
Present

"Are you ok?" Linda asked me in concern
"Yeah I am fine"
"Ow good,good umm, you were gonna ask me something before you zoned out" she shrugged
"Was I, ow yeah,yeah umm I was" I stuttered in embarrassment.

I looked down at my feet, and started a debate in my head, fuck it I will tell her, I look at her
"I love you Linda"
She started at me for a moment her mouth was slightly open in shock the playful look she usually has in her eye was gone and changed into something serious, then she spoke her tone of voice was hard.
" does Leon know about this?" Linda demanded
"Know I about what?" I reply really confused.
"You being straight, or bisexual"
"um I,I, I am..." I stutterd then she cut me of.
"If he doesn't then you are mean, lying to your boyfriend that way"
"Hes not my boyfriend" I said loudly looking back down at my feet, for some reason I felt like I was gonna cry when I said it, "he isn't my boyfriend" I whispered to myself under my breath.
"WHAT YOUR NOT A COUPLE" She squeaked loudly in shocked
"Why did you think we were" I asked her casually
" Not just me, everyone thinks you are because you hold hands sometimes under the tables and in the corridors..." she trailed eyes were wide as if full of horror.
"So now that you know I am not with Leon will you go out with me" I asked Linda looking her sternly in the eye
"No, no I am sorry Jarred I have boyfriend well sort of" Linda said shrugging and letting go of my hand. I stepped away from her swallowed back a lump in my throat, and trying to fight back the urge to run away and hide in a corner.

"I am so, so sorry Jarred I really am. Your a nice boy and all I even would have went with you if I didn't think you were gay and if I was single" Linda pleaded with me.

"I have to go" I said trying not to sound to upset. I turned around and ran to get away from her I didn't her to see me and I didn't want to see her knowing she was taken after all these years I loved her and when I finally go to tell her she is taken.