Its been 2 months since I found her in her house beating and starved, he didn't bother her again
Not that I know he didn't but I didn't think she'd want to speak to him.
We all decided that me and her could share an apartment in NY,it was really nice living with her though we weren't together, as much as I wanted it media would jump into our business and it would be a mess
I wasn't sure if she loved me back,we'd cuddle and maybe a few pecks on the lip but nothing much. We never really talked to her about it,I was desperate to but I didn't wanna make her feel awkward or uncomfortable
It was one sunny afternoon in New York city, it was warm but in a comfortable way and you could hear the birds sing as you can also hear the busy and beautiful streets of New York
I just arrived at the apartment and Lana was doing something on the balcony
'Hello' I said in a cheesy happy way smiling to her
'Hello Missy' she didn't look up to me
'What are you doing?' I tried to look but she moves away
'One second close your eyes'
As I closed my eyes as I felt her fingertips brush on my neck, I shiver as her soft skin touches me . I feel a cold small chain wrap gently around my neck as I opened my eyes
I look down and saw this charm necklace with a diamond heart
'You didn't have to' I turner around and faced her with a smile
'It was just a thank you present'
'Its beautiful I say looking at her
'Just like someone else I know..'
We looked at each other for a moment, getting lost into crystal eyes races my heart
Her phone buzzing ruins the moment, she smiles at me and goes to check her phone
I noticed that when she reads her text her mood goes from happy to worried
'Are you okay?' I ask her stepping closer
'Um..I need to go,I'll see you in time for dinner' she grabs her jacket and phone and runs off before I can even say a word
I scrunch up my eyebrows and shrug, I wonder why she's in a rush? Him
After about 20 minutes I got really bored and decided to go to Starbucks
I grab my phone because its only across the road
As I stepped in and waited in the line I noticed something across the street from the big window
It was Lana..but she was with someone, a guy I think,what on earth? I decide to go investigate
I immediately pushed myself out the line and ran out of the coffee shop
I creepily sneaked and watched her and the guy go into an alley..shit just go real
I crossed the street and slowly walker at the aide of the alley,I let out heavy breaths as I slowly and carefully walked
I peeked my head over to see, I wish I hadn't, I wish I hadn't even followed her..but what I saw broke my heart until I felt empty
She was kissing him
My heart sank down like I could feel it in my stomach
I was so upset I stumbled over a rock
They both immediately turned around and her eyes became wide
'Marina?!?!"
And now I'm crying
I couldn't do anything more than home,it turned around now letting her say anything else.And ran as fast as I could
When I reached the apartment I felt my world being crushed,I couldn't breathe probably as if in was choking... I cried every minute I thought of her
'She doesn't love you stop trying so hard'
I repeated those words into my head like a chorus of a song,I gripped my hair out of anger and sobbed into my hands
I heard the door being swung open
It was her
'Marina....' She said trying to grab my wrist
'How could you.....' I cried even harder
'How could you...How fucking could you?' I yelled at her
'Ma-'
'No! Don't give me your sorry shit again! Fucking hell Lana! I get it,you love the guy who beat you up and made you be an alcoholic....I done everything for you..'
I was weak, I sat down sobbing into my hands
-
'Pl-'
I stood up out of anger and pushed her away
'You know what?'
'Marina... Please'
'I'm done waiting for you
'W-'
'I'm dome waiting for you Lana'
Her face showed everything she felt.. Heartbroken... She started crying
'But Marina' she said softly
I looked away.. I cant live like this anyone
'Get out please'
She looked at me with the most heartbroken look ever
As she turned around, she opened the door to walk out.. She turned around and walked over to me
I felt her soft lips on my forehead and a tear come from my her eyes
As she walked out and shout the door, I searched the apartment for a razor
I leave scars down my arms.... blood and bruises
As I lay on the ground I look at the moonlight and the stars in the beautiful night sky
I still love you
Lizzy Grant
