Scarlet Tea

Clumsy

Three days 'till Lisbon's birthday!!

Disclaimer: Je n'ai pas le Mentalist ~french~

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Lisbon's P.O.V.

I sign what I think is my 100th paper today. I'm not exactly sure, due to my lack of sleep. Either way, I decide to reward myself with a coffee break. I slump out of my office, but I straighten up when I walk in veiw of Jane, and the rest of the team. Actually, it was mostly because of Jane, but even thinking that makes me shudder.

I stop in front of the coffee machine, and pour myself a glass, leaving as quickly as I came, in order to get back to the paperwork as soon as possible. I would like to be home by midnight. I hear someone behind me, and smell mint tea. It must be Jane.

"Jane, no offence or anything, but I would rather you didn't follow me like a stalker," I say, trying not to spill my coffee.

"Ah, I have taught you well," he replies.

"No, you just smell like a tea shop threw up," I sneer.

"...You know what I smell like?" he hesitantly asks. I can tell that he's beaming. I push open the door to my office, and turn around. 

"Well-" I begin a clever retort, but I stumble, and my sleep-deprived clumsiness results in me spilling my coffee. Fortunately, my paperwork is unspoiled.

Unfortunately, where it lands is all over my couch.

I turn and look at Jane tentatively. His face is frozen with horror. He loved that couch. I can hear loud gasps from outside, my blinds were open.

"Jane. Jane. Crap," I commiserate, my voice saturated with guilt. I slowly set the now empty coffee cup on my desk. Rigsby runs in with towels, throwing one to me. We move to clean up, when Jane finally speaks.

"That won't help. It would have seeped between the cushions."

We stop patting it, unsure of what to do. You see, I'm not obsessed with couches, unlike some people, so I have no idea of what to do. We turn to look at him.

"This couch is now garbage. You can't use it anymore, the cotton will rot when it's wet," He regains his composure, and grins, "This only means one thing! Couch shopping!!!" 

~~

Some guys from another unit volunteer to take my/Jane's couch to the dump. They're about to pick it up, when Jane hold out his hand signaling them to stop.

"I would like to say a few words," he starts. I internally groan. Only Jane would make us do a funeral for a couch.

"This couch was a very special couch. It has always been there for me. Whenever I need to be comforted, I can go here, lay down, and watch Lisbon growl at certain pieces of paper that seem to annoy her. This couch wasn't the most pretty couch ever, or the biggest, but it was the most compassionate couch. It was caring, and sweet. it told the funniest jokes,"

One of the guys looks at me sympatheticly, knowing that I have to put up with Jane. The other just looks confused. The rest of my team, which have gathered in my office, is holding back laughter. Except Cho, of course. Cho....is Cho, at the funeral. I concentrate on Jane again.

"-though, this couch wasn't my favorite, it will always have a special place in my heart- a place that now will be barren forever. Goodbye, couch, and may the force be with you," he bows his head. The rest of us follow in suit, but mostly to hide our laughter. The guys finally leave, and we follow.

~

I pull up outside Morris Home Furnishings, trying to find a parking place, "Anyone see anything, anywhere."

"Well, of course, there's the birds, the store, the shopping cart coming right at us...." Jane trails off. 

"I mean parking spots you idiot- wait, shopping cart?!" He points, and I swerve to avoid it.

"I think there are two right there," Van Pelt suggests.

"Perfect." I pull in, and make sure that there's room for the truck that Cho and Rigsby are driving. We coudn't fit a couch in Jane's piece of junk.

Everyone hops out, and we head toward the store. We all spread out, "Okay, lets just pick one and go," I announce.

"No, no, no, no no!!!  The process of picking a couch is slow, and delicate," Jane corrects.

"Fine, whatever. Just do your special couch choosing and go," I mutter. "I have a lot of work to do, and I'd really like to get some sleep tonight."

Three hours later, we're slumped on couches and Jane goes back to narrow his list down to the top fifty. I am seriously considering shooting myself. Or better yet, him.

"Hmmm. This one is too narrow. And too flimsy," he decides, "This one...it's all uptight, and aggravated and stiff. Like Lisbon in the morning," I give him a glare, and he smiles cheerfully. The process continues, until I hear a yell of success.

"Wuz-goin' on?" Rigsby mumbles, snapping awake. Everyone looks over at Jane, hopeful.

"This is the one!!" Jane squeals. I'm not even kidding, he literally squealed. We cheer and head over. I look down at the thing he's laying on. It's leather, and dark blue, very squishy looking.

"Move. If its going to go in my office, I want to try it." I command. He sits up, I plop down next to him."Oh my god." I'm shocked. I feel the cushions, "Holy crap, how on earth did you find this?? And why did it take you three hours, four now? You always say how it's impossible to find something in the last place you look."

"Actually, it's just extremely unlikely. This was actually the fourth one I looked at, I was just curious." he responds. I swear loudly. "Now, Lisbon, that's not very nice. Let's move so that the others can try it, shall we?"

We both stand up, and the others try it, giving responses equal to mine. The couch was incredible, but now we have to look at the price tag. I pull out the small slip of paper from between the cushions. $6,399.99 dollars. It's a freaking couch! 

"Um, Jane? Look at the price tag. See if its a comfortable as the-"

"Teresa," he says, distractedly.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, no, the name of the couch is Teresa. In honor of you, for spilling coffee on the last one," he declares. He looks at the price tag, then at my face. "I'll buy this for you."

"Woah, really?? That's a first," Van Pelt smiles.

"He must really like you," Rigsby jokes, but it sounds more serious then kidding. I furrow my eyebrows.

"Seriously. It's me who's going to be using it anyway," Jane reasons.

"Thank you, Jane," I sincerly say, kind of surprised that he's going to atually buy this for me.

"I saw you leaving the men's restroom with a wad of poker chips," Van Pelt chimes in.

"Oh. Uh that was, um nothing. On a completly other note, I can beat pretty much any person in this buiding at poker," he smiles, and walks toward the check out.

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I'm watching the "angry little princess" scene over and over. Oh, the joys of having the mentalist on DVD....I LOVE THE LIBRARY!!

-Razzl3