Broken beyond repair

Chapter 12

KELLIN POV
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It's been a couple weeks since Vic and I actually sat down and talked. Work was back to being boring and awkward for the most part. He hasn't pushed the subject on why Jaime didn't like him, but he has asked me if we could talk more about his life before the accident. I've kinda been stalling. I don't want to rehash those memories for Vic or for me, so I avoid the subject around him.

Vic is all I could think of lately and it was getting annoying. I should be happy because he doesn't remember how much he hated me, but I feel like I'm keeping a huge secret from him.

Sooner or later he's going to start remembering and then everything will repeat itself. I don't want to relive my past all over again. I just wanted to get better.

"Hey yo- are you okay?" Jaime interpreted himself as he walked into my room. His eyes looked worried. Probably because I was sitting cross legged on my bed with tear stains on my cheeks, not looking at anything in particular.

I looked over at him, rubbing the dried tears off my face. I nodded quickly but Jaime saw right through it.

"Don't lie to me Quinn," he jumped on my bed so that he was laying right next to me, his face cupped in his hands. I laughed at his ridiculous position and gave in.

"I'm just freaking out about Vic. I don't know..it's stupid. I'm just scared of getting too close and having the same thing happen all over again."

Jaime nodded as if he knew exactly what I was talking about which was relieving.

"I think he's different. I think he's better now that he's not doing drugs all the time and he isn't hanging out with the same people. I really think that he is trying to build a new life for himself. I still don't trust him, but I don't think it would hurt to indulge a little. Just be his friend."

"Thanks Jaime. I'm just.. scared?" My face twisted into one of confusion because I didn't even know what I was feeling.

"It's understandable after what you went through. Just go slow and test the waters? I don't know man, but you're strong and smart, you can do this." Jaime patted my shoulder and I smiled pathetically.

"Thanks.. what are you even doing today?"

"Ooohhhhhhh I've got this date with this steaming chick. If you weren't so gay, you'd most definitely be jealous." Jaime laughed as he hopped off my bed and walked to the door.

I laughed with him and then watched as he left the room. But not before he peaked his head back in for one last remark.

"Hey kells, just have fun you know? Be careful, but just go with the flow. Maybe this is the rainbow after your rain." I smiled at Jaime before he ran down the hallway screaming something about his date's ass.

I rolled over on my bed and decided to just go to sleep early. I had to work in the morning and while Jaime continued to scream about getting head that night, I just wanted to give my pillow some head.

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"You always sang in the shower. Like, you were a really good singer, but after hearing you sing the Phineas and Ferb theme song about 7 times, it got annoying."

Vic broke out laughing. I decided to take Jaime's advice and just be Vic's friend. I was telling him stories of us from before things went downhill. I was telling him about the man I fell in love with.

"As much as I love cringing at stories of my former self with you in the back of a beaten down music store, how about we take this to my place? Our shift is almost over anyway." Vic asked hopefully.

I could tell he really liked hearing about himself even if he couldn't remember any of it. But I was still hesitant to go to house. It held so many memories and I didn't know if I was ready to face them again.

"Aaaaand there will be tacos," Vic added smirking. I thought about it again and couldn't help but agree before I convinced myself otherwise.

And that's how I found myself walking up the steps to Vic's apartment all over again. Except this time the wooden steps had been replaced with clean, dark brown wood. No longer splintered and broken. It looked nice.

I smiled slightly at the change. For some reason, it made me more comfortable and I didn't feel a sudden rush of overwhelming memories.

I walked through Vic's front door after him. Something about the apartment felt so different from all the other times I had been in here. The air smelled nicer and wasn't as cold. The whole appearance was even changed.

The floors looked to be recarpeted and the ceiling fan wasn't as dusty. Vic's old, rotting coffee table was gone and replaced with a glass top table. He had even gotten a new couch. It was leather and looked like you could just sink into it.

Before I realized what I was even doing, I was falling backwards onto the soft leather. I was right, you could just sink into it.

Vic laughed at me but I just smiled and sniffed the couch. It smelled like febreeze.

"Do you like it? I cleaned up a lot in here. My old self must have been really messy, which is annoying. My mom came over and helped me fix it all up." Vic smiled at his own success.

I was left just staring at him because I couldn't believe that this was the same Vic from 3 months ago.

This Vic was sweet and he really cared about his life and future. He was funny and adorable. He was exactly the eay he was before the drugs and alcohol and bad habits. He's who I fell in love with in the first place.

I felt Vic's arms around me suddenly. I didn't even notice that I was now sitting up with tears in my eyes. I hugged him back and just took a deep breath. This was real.