Untamed Desires [COMPLETED] [16+]

Ten: Terrified

Michal was now left alone on the front porch to battle his feelings, as I had turned away, and hurried inside when he attempted to kiss me after expressing how he felt.

I could tell I'd hurt his feelings terribly.

The puzzled dejected expression on his face as I'd turned and left,  slamming the door? Was enough to articulate that my actions had hurt him immensely, his feeling of embarrassment was very evident.

Once inside, I didn't delay much before running upstairs to my room. From which I spied down at him from the windows.

He remained there, rooted to the front porch for about ten minutes after I had left, as if magnetized to the porch by some invincible force.

He didn't utter a single word, he just stood there in the silence of the night, he didn't knock. He just stood there.

I can't tell exactly what he was thinking. However, he was clearly in pain, he dabbed constantly at his eyes with his handkerchief.

Apparently he crying? I can't exactly say from up here, but it sure appeared that way.

My heart sanked as I watched him greve. Knowing this wasn't what I honestly wanted.
.......

What just happen? Did she just reject me? Didn't she kiss me first?

The feeling of being rejected was so unfamiliar, and in this case so unnatural, that for a moment he didn't know what to do. He just stood there on the front porch dabbing at he eyes with his kerchief. Fighting back the tears.

I think I should knock on the door, she probably wouldn't even answer. He quickly concluded, lowering his head in dismay. Before tucking both hands into his jeans and walking off, feeling very confused.

"Hadn't she kiss me on my arrival? So why did she turn away when I tried to kiss her?"

"Maybe I acted too soon, maybe she wanted a more romantic start" Though Michal to himself, as he opened the front door to his home.

"I should have done things differently." That night, Michal immediately fell asleep as his head collided with his pillow.

The entire night however, he dreamt of Sasha's thin pink lips against his, her tall straight black well-kept hair, her magnificent hourglass shape, her stiff ass and brest.

He was definately not gonna give up trying so easily. Haste make waste. He was gonna wait before making his next move.

Next time, I'm gonna play my three cards differently, I gonna prove himself king. Why do I even believe in us...?
......

After Michal left I started crying. I cried in my pillow for much of the night. I loved Michal, I wanted to kiss him again, I wanted him badly. I was just too scared.

I didn't want a relationship, and I was scared that if I got too close with him, our friendship may very well turn into a relationship.

His effect on me was too great. From the very first time I met him in the park. I've been feeling very much attracted to him, and then after being so close to him earlier. I was convinced of my weakness. I was weak to him.

I couldn't resist him. That's why when he tried kissing me for a second time. I shied away. I regretted my action from that very moment.

And as the days passed by, I regretted it even more. I felt guilty. I was constantly, reminded of his kindness towards me, and how unfairly I had rewarded him.

He had shown me only love, not demanding anything in return, and I. I had treated him with such cruilty.

I was living up to my personal goal, not to get involve in a relationship. Relationship sucks! Companionship sucks!

That's what I taught then. Never had I the slightest idea of what it was like to be in love. To be loved. And as such, I was fighting away life's greatest gift. Love.

"I'll go over to Michal's house and apologize to him for my behavior on Sunday," I said to myself, pacing around in circles on my room floor.

I was feeling very sorrowful, but more so for Michal. My actions towards him weren't right, even if I didn't want a relationship. And for this reason, I felt compelled to apologize. However, I managed to convince myself otherwise.

"No! No, I can't go over to his house and apologize. It would seem like a desperate move for companionship." I scolded myself, falling onto to the bed.

In my heart? I wanted Michal like fire needs oxygen. But I just couldn't have it.

My personal goal wouldn't allow it. And I myself wasn't ready to accept it. Would I ever accept it? Would I ever accept love?

I wanted Michal. I wanted him so badly, but I wasn't going to apologize. I wasn't going to face the risk.

He may very well not accept my apology? And what then? I may very well end up being the one, front line with the swollen heart. Not good.

I felt like apologizing at all cost, but my ego just wouldn't allow it. It would mean possibly damaging my pride. Something I couldn't afford risking. It was a hard decision, but I'd made up my mind.

About a week passed and I heard nothing from Michal, I still had flashes of that night. However I was starting to get over him. Maybe I guessed.

As I sat pulled out my laptop and logged into my Facebook account. I noticed a friend request and invitation from Michal.

"How did he find me?" I questioned in shock, before long I arrived at a conclusion. I'd used my real name for my Facebook account. It wouldn't be difficult at all.

Never the less, I was shocked, I really wasn't expecting this, I excited? Terrifyingly excited to be exact, that's if there's even such a word, immediately I opened the message and started reading its content.

It reads:

***********************************

Dear Readers: This book is to be published Soon, however, I'm leaving the first draft online for all to read for free. If you're enjoying it, please help spread the word by VOTING, COMMENTING, ADDING to your public reading lists, and SHARING with your friends.

Thank you! <3

What do you think about what Sasha behavior in relation to Michal's?