Advancing even further onto me Michal gripped my hand aggressively and twists my arm. I felt a jagged sharp stinging pain shot through my shoulder and I pushed my head onto his chest.Bringing myself even closer to him, in an attempt to both calm his anger and alleviate the pain that was spreading through my arm like a forest fire. I felt like screaming, but screaming would've only made matters worse.
"Ahhh, Michal... Please Michal, please don't hurt me. I'm sorry. I ... I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me!" I screamed softly, pressing my head against his chest.
I could now feel the thumbing of his heart and hear his rapid heartbeats, forcing against his chest plate. I could feel his tension and growing anger with every beat.
He has treated me so good, and all I've shown him is pure deceit.
I felt real bad, why shouldn't Michal just kill me. And put an end my liar, cheating life? I asked myself in shame.
Reeling away almost instantly as my head met his chest. Michal pushed me hard onto the bed.
It all happened so fast; it was as if there was a force of repulsion between us, the kind that exists when the same pole of separate bars of magnet are place together.
It's as if we never belong together from the very start. The force was so strong, it was so real. It's was as if somehow Michal had built a shield around himself, for protection against me. What am I, some monster from space?
I was about to hollow something rude at him when he started shouting:
"You know what Sasha? I loved you, but you... you don't love me. You don't love anyone, not even yourself and you know what, I'm a fool, a fool to actually believed you loved me."
"I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I just want you to get the hell out of my life. You've ruined everything!"
"And the last thing I'm going to allow you to ruin is my life! Do you think I was still going to fucking marry you after what just happened?" Shouted Michal, pointing his finger at my face.
Before I could respond, he snatched my iPhone from the bed and smashed it into the far wall, then turned sharply and left.
Michal's words struck me like bullets. I could feel them piercing into my flesh and going deep between my bones, penetrating my heart.
The heart I once taught was made of stone was shattered as if made from glass. The effect was devastating, and for the first time, I felt what it was like to be broken-hearted.
I've always been the heartbreaker, but now, It feels as if I've broken my very own heart, with my very own devious actions.
I felt suicidal. I felt like killing myself. If only I didn't believe there's a God, and going to heaven/hell when one dies. Burying my head in my pillow. I flooded it with tears.
"I've lost Michal. I've lost the one and only guy whom I've ever loved." I cried, bitterly.
"Am I going to have to raise this child on my own? What am I to tell mother when she asks for Michal and what will I do if she takes the initiative to call him and find out" I asked myself.
"No! No! I won't be able to raise this child on my own, I need Michal" I screamed, rising from the bed.
"I can't live like this" I sobbed painfully, removing a small knife from under my mattress.
You might be wondering, what the hell's a knife doing under my mattress. Okay, here's the reason- this knife was placed under my mattress by me after my 18th birthday.
I hid it there to protect myself against any guy who would dare try and force fuck me in my room.
Andy however, is the first and only guy I've ever sexed in my room and that's solely because my mom's almost like always home.
Raising the sharp stainless steel to my throat I released a final prayer, asking the Lord for mercy and forgiveness.
"Lord, I've sinned. I've cheated on Michal. I'm sorry lord. I must do this. I don't deserve this gift of life. Please forgive me, and please, please provide a place for me in heaven. O Lord" I finished, tilting my head slightly backward and — .
*************
Dear Readers: This book is to be published Soon, however, I'm leaving the first draft online for all to read for free. If you're enjoying it, please help spread the word by VOTING, COMMENTING, ADDING to your public reading lists, and SHARING with your friends.
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