Revenge of the Psycho Ex-Girlfriend

So. . . What Was the Plan?

I bet you're wondering what the revenge plan was. I'm sorry for not telling you right away--I get very distracted.

My plan was simple: I would steal Bryce's phone, text Briana really mean messages from his phone, eventually send a break-up text, then find a way to publicly humiliate Bryce at his football game.
The problems with my plan:
1) Bryce and Briana can communicate outside of texting. Translation: they spoke at school, and Briana found out that he didn't even have his phone, and she cornered me in the bathroom and threatened to tell my mother if I didn't give back the phone. Oh, yeah, something I forgot to mention: my mom is a bad*ss cop. Soooo. . . yeah.
2) The plan to humiliate Bryce was to. . . put a little something extra in his water bottle, so that he would mess up all of his plays for his team. The something extra was alcohol. Why it didn't work: his water bottle fell out of his backpack when he was walking over to the football field after school, and it got run over by a bus. Oh, yeah, and Chenille got busted for having tequila in her locker(I'm pretty sure the school police officer in our school can smell illegal substances).

This is why I'm back in my bedroom, crying my eyes out while eating rocky road ice cream, flashing in and out of visions, and attempting to watch Legally Blonde. *sob.....*