The Bitter Start.

Chapter seventeen

  " I- I don't know what you're talking about." I said quietly, looking away.

  "Daddy's out, I know you know he's out.. It's only a matter of time, I came here to tell you that. Let's just say, he's not the most forgiving kind of person." he said quietly as he came forward and caressed my face.

"What about you Xavier?" I asked shakily, and he smirked.

"Oh, we can work out your debt in my compensation soon." he said and I closed my eyes tightly.

  "Xavier-"

  "That's what you'll be saying, over and over and over.." he said slowly as he moved my hair out of my face.

  I cringed away from him.

  "I have to go." I said quietly.

"Go then, but soon I'll have you all to myself." he said and moved out of my way.

  I most likely threw myself at Dawson when I saw him, and he caught me in his arms even though it was sudden.

"What's wrong?" he asked but I shook my head.

"I'm sorry.. I don't want to fight anymore. If you want to have sex with me, I will.. I am so sorry for being such a... A bitch to you." I said and he tossed the keys to Blaine and got in the backseat with me.

  "What are you talking about? What happened?" I heard him ask but I pushed my nose against his neck.

"I'm so sorry.." I said again and he pulled me back, emotionless.. He always had that mask on, some hidden feeling behind it, and I caressed his cheek. He knew something was wrong as he took me out of the car, carrying me inside.

  He closed the door to my bedroom and laid me on the bed, but I wouldn't let go of his neck so he laid down with me.

  "Xavier.." I said and he scrunched up his eyebrows.

  "Xavier as in, the one who forced sexual experiences on you, Xavier?" he asked and I nodded.

  "I saw him.. I- I got freaked out when he talked to me." I said and his face grew stony.

"Where at?" he asked but I shook my head.

"That's not important.. He's going to leave me alone." for the time being..  he scrunched up his eyebrows.

"This is why you're so shaken up?" he asked and I nodded. He pulled me to him.

"Things will be ok.. You know I'd never let anything happen to you or the group.." he said and I nodded.. In this case though, nothing can really help me..

  "I've held out on sex, and I'm sorry.." I said and he sat up.

"Don't be sorry for not wanting sex." he said and I sat up.

  "I'm just.. I'm sore down there.. I don't know why I'm still sore, but I am.. And I'm afraid to have sex with you again." I said and he frowned.

  "What? You've never told me you were sore.. And since when have you been afraid to have sex with me?" he asked and I sighed.

"I'm not afraid to have sex with you specifically, more of just.. Sex in general. I am sore down there, and I'm afraid that if we have sex I'll get messed up.. Or something.." I said as I struggled in saying it all and he frowned.

  "What.. I don't even know what to ask or say." he said, running a hand down his face.

"I just.. I am sorry I didn't tell you." I said and he looked at me for a moment.

   "It's fine, but I need you to tell me these things. You need to be open with me or else we aren't going to hold up." he said and I nodded.

  "Come on, you need to eat." he said and he pulled me to him, us walking down stairs and eating.