The Bitter Start.

Chapter twenty two.

I got a text as I started to eat a apple, Dawson was up in his office where he loves to live, with I think Blaine with him. This morning I got up out of bed and Dawson wasn't there. He wanted me to sleep in, or he just didn't want to disturb me because usually when he's awake, I know about it almost immediately.

Luke told me the address and said I could come anytime, and that he'd give me a key so I could get in without knocking.

I looked around.

"I'm going to go train. Abi are you ready?" Ron said and Abi nodded.

"Lets round up everyone and see if they want to help track your progress for when they train you." Ronny said and they left. I quietly went up to the room, putting on some gladiator sandals, changing into something else, and I grabbed my keys and walked out quietly.

I parked a few blocks away in an alley and got out, and I quickly walked to the door and knocked twice, swift and firm.

In the corner of my eye I saw the curtains move a centimeter then the door was opened immediately and I was enveloped in Luke's arms as the door shut immediately on its own from the springs inside.

  "Wait, so you're telling me that you were pregnant and you aborted the baby because yyou had taken a hard blow and it was going to die at birth anyways?" he asked and I closed my eyes for a moment.

"There's just so much danger in the world, to have a kid in this environment, in my environment is not what I want. But I uh, I'm asking if you can get it off record. Off medical, written and any exam they have on file." I said, looking away. It was silent for a moment.

"Is this what's been bothering you?" he asked and I bit the inside of my cheek. I stood up from the couch and I went to look out of the closed slit of the curtains.

"I just, can't talk about it. I can't. Regret is something that I'm used to. Can you do that though?" I asked and he stood up.

"Ali, hunn if you need to talk to someone, you can always talk to me. Always. I may not agree with your decisions sometimes but I'd help you through it. I don't see why you couldn't tell me earlier." he said and I bit my lip.

"It's not exactly something that I just say over video, or call and text. And if someone was tracing our lines that'd come up and I don't need that threat. Not right now, not like this." I said and I looked to him. I was still having the nightmares, feeling sick to my stomach when I thought about it. This baby had done nothing wrong to me and yet I killed it. For what, a few futures? Lives that would be put on hold and hurt and it'd have so many secrets that no one would ever be able to connect to and so many off-putting stuff that just makes us, makes me not ready.

It was my decision though, and even though it was hasty, it was made and nothing can change that.

"I know you're here for me." I said and he put his forehead on mine for a moment.

"I'll see what I can do. I'll call a few people, someone entrusted to keep their mouth shut and wired." he said and I nodded.

"Thank you. I'm sorry, I know I've messed up and made things mess up on this one. I just, I impulsed. And I don't know what I'm even supposed to do, I feel dirty, I feel hurt, and I feel sick to my stomach that I'm a killer of my own kind." I said and he just hugged me.

"You probably should be going back. They're probably worried about you, you've been gone for.. Three or four hours now." he said and I sighed.

"It was so much easier when no enemies were around, when I didn't have to go on jobs or train or do anything but sit with you, play guitar and be a happy person. Still innocent and virtuous." I said and he chuckled.