The girls patiently waited and waited for me to decide what we were going to do next. After the thoughts in my head continuously processing through it, I knew what I wanted to do. It may not have been the right choice, but by far it was the one I wanted the most.
“So, what are we going to do.” Abby questioned, making me rethink my idea just for a second. But it was final, I was going to do it whether they were going to or not.
“I’m going to fight back and kill the people who shot my family. Who’s in with me?” I answered, taking valuable moment to look each person in the eye as I spoke to make them want to join me even more.
“I am!” said 3 of the girls.
“Awesome, what about you two?” I declared, remarking my first question for the two that did not speak along with the others.
“We aren’t doing it. We were talking about it before and we aren’t just going to go and risk our lives to kill a whole country of people when we don’t have an form of weaponry and we don’t even know where to start looking. Oh and another thing, how do you think you’re going to get out of the ghetto. If you haven’t already noticed, the place is surrounded by barb wire and it is all locked up.” Bella explained, making a lot of sense to me.
After her miniature speech, I had to face the fact that she was right. I guess we weren’t meant to go out there and save the world. We needed a different plan.
Our end result of a plan was not on I was what you would call ‘happy’ with. Everyone else decided they were just going to stay in the house for as long as they could survive it. I didn’t like the idea of us being trapped together in my house with three dead bodies laying at the front door for us to see. If I was going to stay and try to live, they needed to go. But not only that, I once heard that you could only survive a couple of days without what and a few without food. With the amount of food and water we had, what chance did we have? But I didn’t fight back. I knew that either way we lived(tried to); the fighters or the hiders, we were life not worth living.
It had only been 3 hours and I felt like it had already been a day. Without my mother, father and brother, I felt so scared that no body was there to protect me that I couldn’t think properly. If I had the chance, I would have been dead for them. But it didn’t turn out that way. If only it had.
By saying that, I was left with an idea that may or may not have benefited me...but but I was honestly left with no choice but to do it.
I remembered one thing my dad always used to say to me when it came to someone robbing our house or someone trying to kill us. I remembered where he put something that could solve my problem.
I ran as fast as I could to my parents’ bedroom. I searched everywhere for this one thing and when I found it… I was jumping for joy.
My dad hid a small hand-sized gun under his bed mattress just incase of an emergency and in my eyes, this was an extreme emergency.
From the corner of my eye, I could see the 5 girls sitting on the couch with nothing to talk about. My sight turned straight back to Elsie as I saw how much she required a carer. Someone that could take her in as her own and love her. The chances of her seeing her parents again were very thin.
Elsie was the reason I stopped for a second to attempt in changing my mind. Amazingly, it worked...well, until the accident.
As I tried to put down my father’s gun, a thread from my long sleeved top got caught. It was a struggle to untangle the small piece of cotton but when I did...the trigger set off.
I looked down as I witnessed my blood drip out of my stomach and I realised what had just happened…My head felt like it was spinning and I could hear my heart beating a million miles an hour to attempt to keep me alive. The smell of my blood was driving me insane because I knew I didn’t have long left.
It didn’t take me long to pass on. The miserable part about the whole thing was that my ambition was to stay alive and strong for Elsie so I could try and be a teenaged mother for her just in case she never saw her own mum again. But that wasn’t how it worked out. Accidental suicide was my unfortunate fate. I guess my only question was why on the day I thought was going to be my happiest, not my worst. Life sucks sometimes...I just had to deal with it.
