Fumble

On the Road

"It's OK, Alden," Maine gasped, her voice barely a ragged whisper. "It's OK. I missed you, too."

"Sh*t, Meng. Sh*t, sh*t," Alden cursed under his breath. He turned to search her face. "Are you sure? Because I am, Meng, I swear. When you say go, I'm not going to be able to stop myself," he warned.

"Go," she whispered, slowly bringing his trembling hand to her top buttons.

Alden looked at the top button he was about to unfasten. His mouth was dry and his pelvis extremely uncomfortable. Good Lord, what am I doing? What the hell am I doing?

"STOP!" Maine shrieked.

"SH*T! ANO?! STOP OR GO?"

"STOP! BRAKES! BRAKES!"

Alden turned just in time to see the red tail lights of the poultry truck loom in front of him. "P*tangina," he muttered as he slammed the brakes. The van screeched to a halt. Maine's forehead had nearly grazed the windshield. They were only inches away from hitting the truck's mud flaps.

"Oh, sh*t, are you OK, Meng?" Alden asked desperately, combing her hair away from her face.

Maine started giggling as she sank back to her seat.

"Meng, you OK?"

Maine continued to laugh and pointed to the words printed on the truck's mudguard. "I'm not responsible for anything lost, including VIRGINITY," Alden read aloud.

"Sh*t, Alden, it's a sign," Maine gasped between giggles. "Ang harot, nakakapatay." They both burst out laughing.

As the traffic had began to move, Alden now had both his hands on the steering wheel. The intense sexual tension earlier had dissolved in laughter. "Ang harot mo kasi, Meng," Alden teased.

"Ako ang harot? Ako? Ikaw nga ang nagsabi gusto mo...gusto mo..."

"Ano?"

"Ikaw ang nagsabi miss mo ako, eh," Maine lamely reasoned.

"Nah, forget about it, Meng. Besides, if I wanted you...it would be a bad idea."

"Grabe ka naman."

"No, I meant even if we were to do...you know...do..."

"Do it. Alden, we're not kids. You can say it. If we were to have sex. Sex," Maine continued in a nonchalant tone. She watched the other cars whiz past their van.

"Fine. Yeah. Do it. Have sex..." he cleared his throat. "Yeah, so if we were gonna do it today, we wouldn't be able to."

Maine turned to look at him with a skeptical stare. "Akala ko ba, Mr Faulkerson, pag gusto, maraming paraan."

"Meng...wag ako."

"That's where you're wrong, Alden. 'Wag ako." She exhaled and looked outside, pretending to study the billboards along EDSA. "Look, first of all, mali din ako, eh. We don't have protection. Paano tayo bibili ng condom without people knowing? Patay tayo diyan. I can't just walk into any 7-11 and ask for condoms. I'm sure you don't have them on you."

Alden remained quiet.

"You don't have protection, diba babe? This was a bad idea. Buti nalang di natin pinatulan."

Alden cleared his throat. "Actually, Meng," he began. "I....I do. I have protection on me."

Maine turned to face him, her eyes wide. "What? How? Wha....?"

"Yup. In my wallet." Alden smiled guiltily.. "Got them in Canada. At least walang nakakilala sa akin sa convenience store doon. I bought them after...after all your damn bikini pics. So I went out in the snow and bought an entire box, just so you know. Kasi yun nga, I was planning...basta. I had plans."

Maine sat there, wide-eyed, not believing what she just heard.

"Meng, if you want to check, they're in my wallet. I'm sorry. Medjo assuming ako, but better safe than sorry," he reasoned. "Look, I'm not pressuring you or anything, I just...I just had all these plans when I came home, but...but we're not ready for that, so you can just forget about it."

"Owwwkay," Maine swallowed hard. "But then there's the matter of...place," she continued. "If we wanted to do it, where would we go?"

"I asked Kuya Dong," Alden replied. "He told me if I needed discreet things....like when he was still going out with Ate Marian and they needed...to check into certain places privately...he could help."

Maine's eyebrows now shot upward. "Wow, babe. You certainly...thought this through."

Alden looked at her and kissed her hand again. "Sorry Meng, it was just in the heat of the moment. Again, we don't need to do it if you're not ready. Besides, these things leak out fast. Just one rumor of us checking in anywhere, and we're dead."

Maine sat in silence, her thoughts still racing.

"Meng, it's OK. We don't really need to do anything right now," Alden consoled. "We've just started. It's been what...3 months pa lang tayo? We'll get there. Sa tamang panahon," he added jokingly.

"Baka pwede dito na lang sa van," Maine replied in a small voice.

It was Alden's turn to laugh. "Alam mo, Meng. I love you. I really love you. You know that, diba?"

She nodded, still looking at the cars passing by.

He kissed her hand again. "Babe, I love you too much. Hindi mo deserve ang backseat ng van. I would never...I couldn't...not to you. Besides, you're not that kind of girl."

"What do you mean, that kind of girl?"

"Don't get me wrong, Meng. I just think you're the conservative type. And I love that about you, I really do. When the time comes for us to...do it...I'm sure we'll have the works. Wedding. Nice bed. Maybe one long round," he jokingly added. She smacked his elbow. "So ayun, Meng. Let's just forget about this whole thing and talk about something else."

"Is that what you think of me? Conservative?" She pursed her lips and turned on the radio, hoping the music would drown out the awkwardness of the situation. "You know what, tama ka. Let's just change the topic," she offered. "So kamusta Canada? Masaya ba ang crowd?"

"Masaya," Alden replied flatly.

"What else did you do?"

"Aside from looking at your bikini pictures?"

"Grabe ka naman, Alden."