Falling...
Down...down...down
I can't see anything but feel the air rushing around me as I drop.
There's a faint melody...I can hear parts of it if I really concentrate.
" Ring-a-round the rosie...
A pocket full of posies...
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall DOWN."
I land in the blackness with a dud. I hear....crying... Lainey... and then I see her. She shakes with sobs and pulls her legs up to her chest. Her dark brown hair covering her face and body. She stops. "You didn't help me Ashley. You didn't see me cry. You didn't see my bruises, my cuts, or my brokenness. You're no better than him. You killed me too."
******
I bolt up in my bed. My face is wet with tears while the rest of me is soaked in sweat. I'm shaking. I blindly reach for the glass of water on my nightstand. I take hungry gulps of the water, letting it quench my dry mouth. Breath. Breath. Breath. After a few deep breaths I step out of bed. The bite of the cold tile against my feet shakes away my remaining drowsiness. I quietly tip toe into the hallway, past my mom's room. I enter the kitchen and start raiding the fridge. Salad, salsa, old bbq, leftover cake, ham...oh wait, cake! I pull it out and begin to indulge. My tears have dried by now and their salty trails are replaced by sweet frosting smeared on my face.
After 2 slices of cake and a big glass of milk I had finally cooled off enough to think about my dream. Lainey had been my best friend since third grade when she told off Regina Perez for calling me ugly. Lain and I had been closer than sisters and were partially inseparable. Until Gabriel came along. He was Lainey's first boyfriend and treated her like a queen, or at least that's how it seemed. Lainey began spending less time with me, always making up a excuse to avoid me. Then on June 25th she called me. I was furious that she had been ignoring me, so I let the call go to voicemail. She called again a hour later, I let that go to voicemail too. Biggest mistake I had ever made. Five hours later, Lainey's mom called. Lainey had climbed to the top of old water tower in the park, and jumped. Died the moment she touched the ground. That's when I decided to listen to her voicemails. I can still hear them word for word in my head, remember the parts where her voice cracked, where the sob in her voice was practically unbearable.
"Hey cutie, I umm...sob...I just really miss you and I'm sorry I pushed you away. Gabriel is terrible, he's so mean and he hits me and...sob...and he didn't like you, he didn't like anyone. He'd tell me awful things and pushed me around...I just need you. Please please please Ashley you're my rock. I was a horrible best friend and I get it if you don't ever want to see me again...but I...I....goodbye Ashley. I love you." Her second message was much shorter, "Tell my family I love them and I love you. Goodbye cutie"
When I went to her funeral she had on a beautiful long sleeve blue dress, but I saw them peeking out from beneath the sleeves. I hadn't noticed those scars on her wrist before, not until it was much too late.
*********
Thanks for reading, go ahead and leave me with any constructive criticism if you'd like. :)
