Birds, Words, & Inspiration

Animal Training for Artists

On Monday, for perhaps the third time in the last week, I thought I heard my phone ring while I was in the shower. I was expecting a phone call from my agent, and while it seemed a little early for the call, I didn't want to miss it. So I jumped out, wrapped myself in a towel, then leaving soggy footprints through the living room hardwood and past the parrots' cages, I hustled to make it to my phone charging in the kitchen. -- I looked at my phone perplexed.

Nothing. I hadn't missed the call because my phone hadn't rung.

I sighed and glared at Ty, my grey parrot, on my way back to the shower.

"Who's the boo? Are you?" he asked as I passed.

"You're a jerk, Ty," I answered. "And I'm changing my ringtone. AGAIN."

You'd think I'd figure it out. Ty is so good that ten years ago he figured out how to imitate the UPS man's truck as it braked and honked. He mimicked this for a week before I realized I wasn't answering a hallucination. (I'll always run to meet the UPS guy though. Best boyfriend ever! Brings you presents you want, flirts, and then leaves. And the shorts are a bonus.)

Ty has had people checking fax machines, answering my "What did you say?", and running for the phone for 22 years. And thanks to technology he just keeps finding new ways to train people -- most especially me.

I've been a professional bird trainer for a couple of decades now. I've even written a couple of parrot training books that are considered standards. ( and ) So this morning, I found myself wondering... If I can train parrots and Ty can train me, then why the hell can't I train myself to get my work done?

Art is a process and process leads to an outcome. To get to an outcome efficiently, you simply need training. Of course, training is really nothing more than having an honest and clear communication, agreeing on working toward an outcome. So, if I want to finish a novel, eat better, get exercise, or accomplish any goal, then why have I never approached myself with the kindness, understanding, and methodology required in training?

I thought I had an immediate answer to this. The answer was that I'M NOT AN ANIMAL TO BE TRAINED.

Except that... well, what AM I if not an animal to be trained? Life is going to train me whether I want it to or not. So why not utilize applied behavioral analysis, a heavy dose of positive reinforcement, and a great deal of patience toward myself the same way I would a falconry partner or my snarky, annoying, and maybe slightly adorable grey parrot?

My next thought was that... well, it's not the same thing. It's just not.

So I made a list of the most salient points of training in my books, the same points I find myself reiterating to clients when I consult or when I do lectures. Sure I would ease my conscience when they didn't apply, I wrote down the following:

Tips to Training a Behavior (And Making Art?)

Set yourself up to succeed.Use incremental steps and short sessions.Work on one goal at a time.Find the right reinforcer and keep it positive.Ignore bad behavior and reward the good.Try to always end a session on a positive note.If things go south, begin again at the point where things broke down.Be patient and persistent.Respond to actions not emotions.Avoid flooding (Doing it until you get over it). Instead, create rewarding experiences.And lastly-- Remember that love is not positive reinforcement. Love is unconditional.

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Well, shit. Animal trainer, train thyself.

I spent the better part of the morning re-reading this list and coming to terms with it. Truth is I pretty much don't do any of this. I preach it, but I don't it for myself. I want myself to participate in the behaviors that make my world a larger place, but I don't shape them. I don't reward them. In fact, I only pay attention to the bad behaviors.

You should hear me complain about all thing I DON'T get done. That's the only thing I pay attention to... when I'm behaving badly.

I do this to myself even though training for positive relationships and results is quite possibly the one thing I am best at teaching others to do.

I guess I'm just not very good at having an honest conversation with myself. I'd rather manipulate, shame, punish, and withhold any sort of self-respect until I behave to a level that meets my own expectations. And I bet I'm not the only one.

I think I could write an entire series of essays about each of these rules, but I my biggest takeaway was simply defining the one positive that is NOT positive reinforcement. And that one thing is love.

We are all wonderful, even if we don't finish that novel, craft that piece of furniture, or start that new business. We should love ourselves for who are and pile on the praise for all the extras. Because this place we're in, well, this is it. The world only gets you once and you're worth being loved. And more than that, love isn't positive reinforcement. Love is unconditional, and self-love should be too.

All the same, follow the rest of the rules, get your work done and then treat yourself to some ice cream. I'm going to try too.

xxR