Birds, Words, & Inspiration

If Not You, Then Who?

  Walking out of a high rise in Newport Beach on Thursday, I had one thought- to get through traffic and home to my animals, especially the dogs locked in the house, as quickly as possible. This is Southern California though, just before five, and that drive could take me as long as three hours. The sooner I got on the road, the better.

In my hurry, I passed a Western gull in the parking lot and something caught my eye about the set of its wings, one not quite completely tucked tight. There were no other gulls in sight and that seemed odd as well. So I turned back to see if it would fly a bit. It wouldn't.

I sighed, and continued back to my truck. I didn't have time for this and anyone who has ever spent even one day at the beach knows that there is no shortage of gulls. In some places they are even a nuisance and require abatement. Chances were good that I couldn't do much for it anyway. Someone else could worry about it.

As I unlocked my truck and then set my things in the front seat, I paused again. It was the end of the day at an office building. What were the chances that anyone else would be able to catch a fairly formidable bird quickly and proficiently?

The bird weighed as much as my red-tailed hawk and had a wicked beak. Even if someone figured out how, they probably wouldn't be able to do it with as little stress as someone who has a couple of decades' worth of avian capture experience. The sooner the gull was caught up, the more quickly it could get help, if there was any to be had. Besides, there was half of a salmon sandwich leftover from lunch tucked in a paper bag on the passenger seat.

Still, I'm not a rehabber and it wasn't my job. But as I looked around the parking lot, at the women in heels and the men in business suits, I thought, if not me, then who?

So I sighed once more with feeling and grabbed my leftover salmon sandwich.

The gull was hungry, but too leery to grab over a snack. All the same, it only took me five minutes to lure it into a strategic position and catch it up. Once it was in my hands and restrained I paused to palpate her wings, my eyes tearing up a bit when I felt the compound fracture. I probably wasn't going to make any difference, despite having done my best.

I have never had a western gull in my hands before and she was bigger and her sea-worthy feathers much denser than I had imagined. Her webbed feet felt strong against my palm and her beak was just as wicked as I had guessed. I don't particularly care for gulls when they steal my ice cream, but she really was beautiful and that hurt my heart a little.

I convinced the security guard to call animal control for me and went back to the tenth floor to get a box to put her in.

---If you ever really want to cause a stir, walk into an Orange County financial office with a gull tucked under your arm. Also, you can't trust guys who work in finance to tape up a box well enough to hold a hawk-sized bird. I suggest always rechecking their work.

Then I left the gull secure and calmed at the reception desk, waiting for animal control.

I drove home smelling of seabird and salmon, wondering if I had done the right thing, or had done enough, or worse, if I had done the right thing, but would have been better off not doing anything. I felt more sad for the effort than anything else.

Yet, if not me, then who?

How many things in this life are we each uniquely qualified to do or perhaps just see in a way that most others cannot? How many moments do we get when we pause and look around us, realizing that if we do not do this one thing, there is a good chance no one else can. No one else will write the poem you feel stirring, capture that one fleeting moment in a photograph, or pursue that inspired business idea. If not you, then who?

And you don't get to know what your choice to act will get you. In fact, there is a good chance that there is no reward and perhaps even heartbreak. Yet, what does the world lose when you don't choose to offer it the rare things that belong to you?

Perhaps the crux of living a truly authentic life lies in decisions as brief and as seemingly pointless as trying to help a broken-winged bird simply because at the moment, there is no one else. And what if I brought this same decision to moments involving art, friendships, and business? Maybe I should find out.

xxR