Birds, Words, & Inspiration

Fear Is Talking. Are You Listening?

Fear isn't your enemy; it's your guidepost.

I have understood this idea for a very long time. I realize that I am just like everyone else. There are projects and ideas, hurdles and finish lines that create a large enough rising fear to make me pause or stop. Sometimes though, fear isn't the reason to stop. It's actually the best reason to keep going.

Fear is a good thing. It keeps us from getting ourselves killed, maimed, and shunned from society. I feel confident that most of the people reading this can think of at least dozen times in their young adult life where they made bad decisions and just got lucky. Is there a single one of us who shouldn't be dead from at least one bad decision? We do get lucky when we're young.

Then we get older and we know. We have life experience. We have fear. Not just of the things that threaten our existence, but of things that threaten our solid ground. And this is where we get hung up. Fear is good. Fear keeps us safe. And then it keeps us from larger possibilities. It stops us from worthwhile risks
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Some of your closest friends and family don't understand your art. Fear says, don't do it.

There was this one time you did this thing and it was emotionally disastrous.Fear says, you should never try again.

You know what success looks like and this is nothing like you've ever done before. Fear says it's safer not wander off the path.

Don't hate fear. It has a job. It's keeping you safe. But here's the thing –if you cradle hope, seek the most fulfilling life, and believe in creating art, then you can't be safe.

Here is where fear becomes your best advocate. If you get scared, then maybe you're on the right path. Maybe you are pushing yourself to do something bigger and better than you've done before. There is a good chance you are about to do the thing you need to do the most. If you're not afraid, then maybe you're not doing it right. After all, we're all old enough to know better... and also when we should do it anyway.

I have never had more resistance than I had to self-publishing We Were Wilder. I didn't have permission from an agent or publisher. No one wanted the book. So, I don't have anyone to blame or commiserate with when it fails.

What was I afraid of? No sales, bad reviews, a ruined reputation, an already struggling career ended by my refusal to believe the people who didn't believe in a beloved project. That was what I was afraid of. That is why it took me seven years to give a novel I loved dearly to the world. Fear.

Then I pushed past my fear –in increments and kicking/screaming for the most part–and here's what happened: some sales, a few good reviews, and nothing even remotely like an ending to my career as a writer.

I suddenly don't know what I was afraid of, but I do know that I'm now free and clear to write the next book. And there is nothing to fear in self-publishing the next.

Maybe we should spend more time acknowledging fear, then thank it for showing us the way, and shoulder our way right past it. Fear is just a friendly guidepost, hoping for a chance to show up again.

And I look forward to showing up again. At least there will be a sign.

xxR