poetry ;; typical_writers

mosquitos. | edited

I don't know what I should do, I keep bleeding out to make them happy.

Because the mosquitos are getting high off my blood, they can take me away to another place, get me out of this mind set, and suck up so much blood that I can't even remember why I let them do it in the first place.

I'm dying over their happiness, because I know just how they feel. You would die just to feel something in your life that's real.

And letting the mosquitos get high off my blood feels like some kind of drug deal.

I'm sick of the temporary, I  want something that I can feel... Because moving every year and being forced to make new friends isn't something I want.

It's sort of funny when I think about my life, and tell it to my therapist so nonchalant.

I don't care if I'm falling apart, and I've started to think less about my next meal.

The babysitting money couldn't pay for my single moms rent, and I guess the money I found in the streets couldn't pay for a new body, because I know I need to be healed.

I can't just steal the pocket money from the women that raised me and use it to find a new personality.

It's hard to understand the rules in your life, when I'm lacking my own mortality.

Mosquitos get high off my blood, so be assured. I think I know how to fix myself. There's always a cure.

Let's fix my mind. My friends have always helped, but my brain is so messed up I've started to look at them as the happy committee, but you know it's never pretty

I would spend all the money I have just to bring you to New York City

I know how much that would make you smile, even if it's just for a while.

...Because deep down were all sad, so I guess it's funny how we're trying to help ourselves when we know it's all a hopeless reck.

But please, just wait for my next pay check.

Let's do something you'll never forget.

Please just like me, I want you to love me. I need you to feel my pain. Make me happy again.

Make me forget that I'm ripping myself apart. Tell me lies, tell me it's art. Tell me the way I think it a pretty thing, I know it's not but let's say it is. Let's lie like we do about everything.

Sure, take my blood. I didn't need it anyways. I once heard that all you need to survive is your heart, so I guess I'm actually not falling apart.

Yeah, take my money. All I ever wanted was for you to smile honey, even if I know just how fake that curve on your face can be.

Sure... Rip me apart. Please. This is all I ever wanted to be.

I always wanted to help people. I don't care if your killing my brain. Like I said, I'll do anything to make you feel less insane.

I'll do anything to help you ease the pain.

I'll spend days with you, we will dance in the rain.

But the mosquitos are getting high off my blood, and I don't have much time.

So it's time to say goodbye, in honor of my eternal bedtime.

Don't let mosquitos get high off your blood, and don't rip yourself apart.

I've been waiting for my mind and body to depart.

Because I guess I've gotten so used to people in my life leaving, maybe this whole time I needed to get rid of my heart.

Mosquitos get high off of my veins, but I'm hoping one day you'll get high off my heart.

Can't you see I'm screaming for love? Can you not tell all I want is a hug?

Mosquitos are getting high off my blood, and why should I stop them?

I've always liked making people smile, even if it's just for a while. Maybe you can take my blood, I know that self destruction has come in style.

So make me your canvas, and paint yourself a smile.

After all I'm dying for you addiction, so please listen.

There will be people in your life that will use you in selfish ways.

There will be people that can make you feel amazed.

.... But leave them be, and leave them alone.

Leave the house you call a home.

Shake off those mosquitos, and let yourself free. Help yourself, and please agree.

Don't let mosquitos get high off your blood.