Like a knife in the back. My breath comes in short gasps. This feeling that I get at the pit of my stomach, when I know something is not going right. That lonely sick feeling I have every day. His words lies. I don’t even trust myself anymore. I have control over myself most of the time. And that’s what I hate about trusting others. You can’t control them. They can hurt me and despise me and I can't change that. I will just have to accept that fact that they are uncontrollable. Their own minds and thoughts. And I can only try to change them.
I sat on the bus and jammed my headphones into my ears. Music was the only thing that comforted me these days. I didn’t even want to glance back for I’d see them. I rested my head against the window and stared out. The passing scenes of the town just made me feel even worse. Passing couples hand in hand, smiling. A mother passed with her husband, two young children attached to her. They cross the road in front of the bus and the children skip off and the mother just laughs along with her husband. Finally, an old couple walks past linked arm in arm. I closed my eyes and pushed down the tears. I should have been like all of them. I should have been walking hand in hand down a road, walking our children to school and enjoying his company even when we are old and grey. But that’ll never happen with him; with Jonah.
By the time I opened my eyes, we were at school. I sat and waited for everyone to file off before I stood up. I heard the kids by the school door, all walking in,chatting with friends and laughing. I let out a massive sigh as I passed the driver, ready for another day at school.
Stepping off the bus first thing on Monday morning was beginning to feel too much like stepping into another universe. One where everyone is rushing around: year 7’s running off to their first lesson; year 8’s pushing everyone around; year 9’s copying the homework off a mate that needs to be in in 5 minutes; year 10’s gossiping in the corner; and year 11’s trying to have a sneaky cigarette behind the bike sheds. And at the moment St. Edmunds Comprehensive seemed so far away from the reality I knew.
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Ah my first chapter! Hope you liked it :) Keep reading if you think its worthy; give it a chance! :)
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Love and Lies
Teen FictionZara has been tied down to Jonah for many months now. And just when she thinks she is in too far, she tumbles into a seemingly perfect relationship that turns out to be laden with problems and unwanted situation. When dangerous secrets are revealed...
