Love and Lies

Chapter 6 - In his arms.

My whole word came crashing down.  At that point in time, all I wanted was my friends.

They all jumped up and ran towards me. Then came the worried choruses of ‘oh my, Zara!’ and ‘you OK babe?’. I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyes, and took the first seat I could see. ‘Who did this?’ Katherine asked, handing me a box of tissues. ‘Jonah’ I replied. And with that one word, they all hugged me and repeatedly told me he wasn’t worth it and how much they hated him. I love my girls, they always make me smile, and they know exactly what to do to make me happy. After ten minutes of vicious comments towards him and Alice, hugging and bad jokes, I had a smile on my face. They helped me tidy up my makeup and I pushed my thoughts aside and calmed my emotions by the time our first lesson started.

Tuesday was a rather ordinary day. An array of boring lessons with boring work and a pile of boring homework to do when we returned home. By the time the last lesson finished, we were all pretty happy to be going home, as per usual. I said my goodbyes and got onto the bus. I took my phone out and text William, asking him how he was and if he’d got any better. I locked my phone and took my iPod out of my bag. As I looked up, Jonah walked in. Oh god, not now, I really don’t want to cry on a bus I thought to myself. He looked towards the back, in my general direction. His eyes flitted from the very back to me. He had a dull expression and a gloomy look in his eyes. I forced myself to look away. I took my iPod out of my bag and closed my eyes as I felt the tears spring into them. Deep breathes Zara, calm down. He’s just a boy I murmured. I tried to calm myself mentally. I opened my eyes when I was finally calm and subtly turned around to see where Jonah had sat. Oh …. He was sat in the seat behind me. The bus started moving so I looked at my phone, trying to divert my attention from him to someone more important. William. I read his text quickly. It read;

‘Yeah thanks feeling much better now. Though are you? I heard about what happened…. You ok? I’m sorry I wasn’t there’

‘Um… I can’t say I am fine. And don’t worry about you not being there, you were ill you couldn’t help it. He’s sat right behind me now :/ ugh, I just feel really really really bad’ I replied.

As soon as I sent it, I looked straight out of the window at the passing scenes. They were slightly blurry due to the tears now in my eyes. I wiped my eyes and sucked it up, knowing I couldn’t cry again. Not here anyway. I really needed William; yes, the girls could make me feel good and they did, but I just really wanted to be near him right now. I noticed my bus was driving down my road, near my stop. I pressed the button and stood up ready to get off. Just don’t look back. Just get off the bus. I had to mentally stabilise myself. The bus stopped and I practically ran off it. I walked to my house, then sighed. No, I needed him. Forget homework, forget a calm evening. Forget it all.

I walked up to Williams’s door, and knocked on it. He answered in jeans and a plain white t-shirt. His sandy blond hair was all ruffled and he looked tired.

‘Zara?’ He asked, not quite believing I was stood there in front of him. He saw the tears in my eyes. ‘Oh my, come here’ He said and pulled me into a hug. ‘It’s alright, I’m here now’ He whispered into my ear. I smiled through my tears. When he let go, he took me through to the living room. ‘I’ll just get you a tea’ He said and walked off to the kitchen. Within a few minutes he came back with two mugs of tea and some chocolate digestives. He smiled at me, a genuine one. I smiled back, as he handed me my tea and some biscuits.

‘Alright then, tell me everything’ he said. And with that I explained it all to him. Alice, Jonah, that morning and everything else.  

‘and…I’m really sorry, just I felt really bad. I had to come here.’ I finished and he pulled me close, rubbing my back.

‘It’s fine… you need me.’ He replied quietly and calmly, knowing just as much as I did, that I really did.

‘It’s just …… I don’t know what to do anymore’ I said, quietly sobbing away into his shoulder.

‘Shh, it’s alright Zara’ he said, obviously trying to relax me. I cried for the next hour, remembering everything that had happened and dreading what was to happen. And all the time William just sat there, comfortably holding me as I sobbed, reassuring me every time I screamed out in frustration and despair. Finally, I finished and sighed. I pulled back from him and smiled. I was shaking violently, as I always did after I cry.  He looked worried at my shaking but then smiled back at me and lifted his arms out, gesturing for a hug.

I love the way he felt, so warm and comforting. I love the way he held me, so gently yet so protectively.  I loved the way he cared for me. I love the way he still treated me as though I was strong even when I was at my weakest hour. I loved his smile, the way his blue eyes danced. The fact that when I felt my world was crumbling, he would build it back up. At that point in time, I didn’t care about anything else. I hugged him, finally feeling calm and relaxed. I sighed into him and I felt him lightly chuckle as I did so. I closed my eyes, feeling protected. Feeling safe. And within 5 minutes, I fell into a deep and calm slumber.

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