The Darkness

the virtue of grief

Chapter 1 her and her grief

Nothing was the same after that day. That one bullet, it changed everything. The one bullet that she used to kill herself. Zoe kingsley was officially dead. Gone. Never to return. I don't think my mind had fully come to terms with the fact she was actually dead. I feel like I need to take a leadership role after all of this, lucifers a mess, and annaleese would not make a every good leader to tell the truth.

My bed made a loud creaking sound as my weight was sent down onto it. I starred up at the ceiling, "chastity are you ok?" I looked at the door way. Michel stood in the doorway, a tattoo was under his left eye. His green eyes sparkled as brown hair fell  over them, I nodded my head, "yeah im ok" I said and sat up. We aren't really sure how zoe did it, but she managed to do something that brought this Michel back to earth... it had something to do with breaking his soul stone.

"how long has it been since lucifer's been up?" I asked quietly and rolled over onto my side, bringing my knees tightly to my chest. "I don't know. One of us should check on him" he was looking as if he didn't want to do it so I nodded my head and said "I will... just not right now" I said as my eyes fell closed. "I cant believe she's dead, its as if my mind won't accept reality" I said. Michel sat on the bed across from me and rested his elbows on his knee's casually. "I get it... some times the death of a loved one is worse for the living then it actually is for the dead"

I cupped my head in my hand "I...just can't believe it" I said shaking my head, "well at least she wasn't killed by Michel, or myself I should say" he said with a sad smile. "I just don't understand... why would she kill herself?" I asked propping myself up on my elbow. "I guess that's the question... think about it. how would you rather die, at the hands of your enemy or in your own hands. Zoe has always been a very... clever? Person I don't really know the word to describe her" Michel said. I sat up and leaned back on the headboard.

"she was a very... interesting person" I said with a smile, Michel grinned slightly "interesting. Right, that's the word I was looking for!" we both laughed. "can I ask something of you?" Michel asked pulling his knee closer to his chest. "sure, what is it?" I asked, Michel looked down at his hands "if I'm ever put in a situation where I could die. I want you to kill me, not my enemy" Michel said green eyes searching for something they cant seem to find.

"fine. But i doubt that will happen" I said. he held his pinky out to me  "promise" he said, I looked at his hand for a second then grabbed his pinky with mine. "I promise" I said, "only if you promise not to die"  I said with a small wink. Michel laughed "fine" he said shaking his head, his hand slipped into mine. "I guess you cant die either" Michel said, I nodded my head. "yep and I don't plan on dying so..."

Soon after that conversation I somehow ended up standing outside Lucifer's bedroom door. my knuckle hovered over the door, I leaned forwards and rested my forehead to the door. "why can't you just come out" I murmured and rested my hand on the door. I finally brought myself to knock, "Lucifer its me" my voice broke unexpectedly. No answer. "Lucifer answer me, or at least let me in" I said and twisted the handle. After saying his name 3 more times and pleading for him to open the door, I decided to take maters into my own hands.

I broke the hand and pushed the door open. It was pitch black, "Lucifer" I said softly. "what is it" his voice came, full of despair. I rested my hand on the wall in search of a light "don't" Lucifer said "just leave" he added I could smell the faint smell of alcohol. "you where drinking" I said as my hands roamed the wall in search of a light "yeah and what do you care?" once I found the switch I flicked it up. The light flickered on, Lucifer was sprawled out on the bed his arm covering his eye and multiple cans sitting by him.

In between his index finger and middle finger was a cigarette, which had smoke drifting lazily into the air. once he pulled his arm from over his eyes, I saw his violet orbs where dully and tired. My eyes fell wide "leave" he said as his eyes fell on me. I noticed another smell hit the air, metal... the smell of blood. There where blood stains covering the bed, some were dry some fresh. My legs stopped moving and I noticed the knife sitting next lucifers hand.

my legs got the feeling back in them and I zoomed forwards, grabbing the bloodied knife and sending it flying threw air, it hit the floor with a loud clatter. "why would you-" "because its my fault!" Lucifer said anger and sadness flaring in his violet eyes. my mouth closed "its my fault zoe is dead!" Lucifer screamed tears where sparkling in the corners of his eyes as his hair fell everywhere in knots and tangles. "i killed zoe" Lucifer said. "zoe commited suicide. If anything Michel killed her!" I said, "but if I wasn't with that girl... I could've saved zoe" Lucifer said "I made her sad... and from that she wanted to take it all on her own"

"she used chain because of me" I looked at him sorrowfully. "she used chain to kill Michel, which is what we have to do. And I won't quit until he's dead" I said determinedly. His eyes fell closed and tears slid down his cheeks. Next thing I knew I was in frot of Lucifer, I wrapped my arms around his kneck and hugged tightly, he returned it and started sobbing on my shoulder. I tried to rub his back soothingly. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and now that I think back I don't think I was prepared in the least.

I wasn't prepared to fight my own family.