The Nerdy Bad Boy

Chapter 7

In class,  everyone was looking and talking about what happened with me and Sean. 

My phone wouldnt stop buzzing,  and everyone kept trying to either be my partner or find a reason to talk to me.

I didnt think this plan through very well, Just last week, no one really knew me. No one cared what happened to me. 

I could leave this school and never come back, and no one would notice.

But now, I cant even go to the bathroom in peace. Everything is about the hospital or me and Sean.

I didnt realize I meant that much, maybe Sean- No dont think about the 'what ifs' that could have been.

I got up to go to my next class, and got tripped my someones bag. I fell, landing on the ground hard. 

I didnt know what happened, but I opened my eyes, and Sean was looking at me, my head in his lap. 

The bells rung, and everyone cleared out. Heading to their classes, me and Sean were left there all alone.

I didnt say anything, I just laid there in his lap thinking to myself. I didnt know what to do. I wanted to be with him for real, but I couldnt let my feelings get in the way of what needs to be done. 

Maybe I didnt have to do it, I knew what it felt like to be played, I knew what it felt like to be lied to and hurt. 

I didnt want to make him go through that. I didnt know what to do about this, This internal conflict making me want to cry.

I might have started to cry, because Sean brushes his thumb under my eye. I lift my hand up, and place it on top of his. 

He leans closer to me, pulling me closer to him. I sit up, and lay my head on his chest, tears rolling down my face. 

' Hay Hay hay. its okay, dont cry. Its gonna be okay. Im here, im here.' He holds me closer, stroking my back softly. 'Whats wrong? Why are you crying?' He asks softly. 

'Im giving up, everything I am. I cant handle it. You mean the world to me, but im afraid of getting hurt. You made me smile when I almost died. You stood by my side when no one else was there for me. You made sure I was safe and happy when I was unhappy and in pain. You laid with me when I couldnt sleep. You missed school and risked your future for me, just so I wouldnt be lonely. All I've done is accuse you of horrible things, all because you have feelings for me. You love me, and I practically told you that I hate you. You are such a sweet and amazing guy. Under the bad boy act, you are caring, sweet, considerate.' I stand up, looking him in the eye. 'You are the same guy who stayed with me in the hospital for weeks, bringing me all kinds of treats and gifts. You are the same sweet guy I've lived next door to for almost my whole life. You've only teased me, as your way to deal with your feelings. Im a horrible person. You deserve better.'  I say, and run out of the room to the cafeteria, sitting down to eat.

My life is so fucked up right now, I cant even think straight. I just confessed that I had feelings for him, and ran away.

Everyone started to come in for lunch, and my misery started again. I heard the sounds and whispers of me and Sean again. I looked at my tray, and picked at my mashed potatoes. 

After everyone had sat down, there was only one thing missing, Sean. He wasnt anywhere. I hadnt seen him since I ran away from him.

Deria came to stand by me, her lunch pouch in front of her. She looked to me and smiled, grabbing my hand, she pulled me on my feet. Laughing as a beat started playing.

A male voice started singing, the curtain hiding the masked singer. 

"I love you, If you aint got no body to love.