Healing Broken Wounds.

Part 8: Things Take A Turn For The Worst

Mordecai had grown up so fast and he was now in elementary school. Things were more than stressful for me as Josh and I just couldn't seem to get along or agree with each other. I knew we loved each other for sure but something always seemed to be missing in our relationship. I had liked to think that we had everything we needed. Our own house, a lovely son, a good job and me finishing college but as nice as it all sounded to me, things were just always sour between us. For the past few years we had been continuously arguing, fighting with each other and hurting each other verbally. I would cry everyday and he was almost never home which made things even harder on me having to take care of Mordecai and study. But even though things seemed to be so rough, giving up on Josh was never ever an intention that I had in mind. Whatever we were going through I always said that we would work it out because I knew for myself that deep down inside no matter how mad or stressed I was, this man was the man for me.

But one evening, things took a turn for the worst. Josh came home with his usual grumpy look on his face, slugged shoulders and had not a word to tell me. I tried starting a conversation but he just ignored me completely as if I was no longer in existence and went straight up to his room. A few minutes later he came downstairs all dressed up and that's where it all began. "Where are you going?" I questioned.

"I'm going on a date."

"A date? What the hell do you mean a date? You just came home all depressed, didn't even bother telling me good evening or even a simple hello, and now you're going on a date? What in the world is wrong with you Josh?"

"I'm going on a date, I'm tired of arguing with you and trying to work things out. If we were meant to be then things wouldn't be this way. I found someone who makes me happy and satisfies my needs and I think it's about time you do the same.."

"That's what relationships are about. You argue, things aren't always a bed of roses, and how could you tell me to move on when you're the one I have always loved. How could you tell me move on when we have a son involved. How could you??? How?"

"I think it's time that you move on cause if you don't, I will," he said as he walked out the door. I felt as though my heart dropped out of my chest and the pain that came with that feeling was fatal. The following nights after the incident were overbearing and heartbreaking. Josh started bringing home his new lover almost every night, he introduced her to our son and now she was taking my place in his life. I couldn't deal with the hurt of losing him and the fact that I was no longer his hurt me even more. I told myself that it was unfair to me to live in the house while she kept coming there. I felt that I needed to be free from being trapped in a house of pain, so the upcoming days, I spent a lot of time looking for a place to rent and a temporary job that could hold me down.