I Fell In Love With My Teacher

Chapter 25

I stood there speechless. My mind was running a mile a minute. I don't know what to do or say.

Oliver just stood there and told me he still loves me.

I didn't realise I'd been standing just staring blankly at the wall ahead of me.

"Leah? Please say something?" Oliver pleaded.

"I-I don't know what to say," I answered truthfully.

He looked so pained at my answer. It broke my heart a little.

Honestly, I've no idea how I really feel about him still. It's been too long. I've sort of just blocked out my feelings for him and not really thought about him.

"Olly, I'm so sorry. I just need time to think that's all," I told him. I do need time. I can't just blurt out 'I love you too' when I don't really mean it.

"I understand," he whispered. You could feel the awkward atmosphere in the room grow. God why did I do this?!

"I should uh probably go," I muttered, not making eye contact with him.

I didn't wait for an answer from him, I just grabbed my bag and left as fast as I could.

I felt so empty inside. A part of me wants to cry but I'm sick of crying over things. I just want to move on with my life and forget about everything that happened. But how could I forget some of the happiest moments of my life?

I quickly caught the next bus and headed home.

*

3:28am my clock read.

I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning for god knows how long.

I told my parents I was tired at 9pm and went up to bed but as soon as my head hit the pillow, the tears started to flow. Crying myself to sleep seemed like the best option but that just seemed to keep me up longer.

School just got a lot harder now.

I got out of bed and headed for the shower. I've got nothing better to do anyway. I turned on the warm water and stepped in. I may as well take my time, I've plenty of time before school. I laughed at my own sarcastic comment.

I stepped out and wrapped a fluffy towel around me and headed back inside my room.

I glanced at my clock as I shut the door.

4:17am.

Damn, I could've spent longer in there. But my parents would've killed me.

I slipped on my uniform and sat down on my bed. I guess I could use this time to think about what Oliver said to me yesterday.

Do I still love him? Could we possibly get back together? It doesn't really seem likely. My head just can't think straight when it comes to my feelings.

*

7:30am

"Leah! Get up! It's 7:30!" My mum screamed.

Shit, did I fall asleep?

I was already in my uniform so I'm okay for now. I quickly looked in the mirror at the curly mess I call hair.

I grabbed a brush and fixed it up and just left it in its natural state then put some light make up on. I don't know why my mum was freaking about me being late.

I ran downstairs and out the door heading for the bus. I wasn't in the best mood today but I wasn't totally grumpy. I've finally made up my mind about Oliver.

The only problem now is physically having to drag myself to his room and telling him.

I found my friends as I was making my way into school and put on my best fake smile. I should try and at least be a little cheery with them today.

When should I talk to Oliver? I have English second and I don't really think that's a good idea to do it then. I might just wait until lunch? But then I might have something to do. Should I even skip class so that I don't have to face him?

Fuck I'm the biggest procrastinator you will ever know.

*
The end of school came quicker than i wanted it to. Oliver's class today wasn't so bad. He seemed slightly happier than yesterday.

Maybe he was just putting on a happy face just like me.

I stopped outside his door. My heart was racing and I was scared incase he could hear it behind the door.

Oh for fucks sake just knock on the door.

I hesitated then knocked quietly. He opened the door and smiled when he saw me.

"Hey, come in," he smiled.

Okay, maybe he genuinely was happy. I felt like I was going to be sick right now. I pushed that feeling away and took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Oliver, I've been thinking about what you said yesterday," I said slowly.

"So have I. Quite a lot actually," he replied coming closer to me. I took a step back without thinking. He looked hurt for a second but brushed it off quickly.

"Well you see, I uh.." I trailed off. Why is this so hard? Just fucking say it!

"Leah, just be honest that's all I want," he said encouraging me. There was a glint of hope in his eyes and it broke my heart even more.

"I-I don't love you anymore," I whispered, staring at the ground. I closed my eyes to stop the tears from flowing.

I think that's the hardest thing I've ever had to say.

There was a very long pause before he spoke.

"I guess I sort of expected that," he said. I couldn't trace any sort of emotion from him. I feel so horrible right now, I need to leave.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I said quickly and headed for the door. He didn't say anything, he just nodded. He never made any eye contact with me and I don't blame him. I just broke his heart for fucks sake!

Little did I know that that would be the last time we will ever speak to each other or be alone together again...

******
HELLOOOO!!

I genuinely am so sorry for not updating since November! Don't hate me please!

I've loved reading all the comments. You all just make me smile so much haha.

And guess what...

You might even get another chapter today too!!

I'm not making any promises though haha!

Thanks for reading!

- Leah xxx