All he has ever wanted

Chapter 3

Ethan's POV

It felt like a blow to my gut when Dr Kirsten told us that Keeta would never be able to conceive. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think. Keeta was sobbing but I couldn't comfort her, I didn't know how when my world just came crashing down around me.

Keeta started to apologise but I needed to get out, I needed to breathe. We drove in silence, I knew I needed to say something, Keeta is hurting and she needs me but I can't I just need a little time for myself.

I stopped at her apartment knowing what would follow. Are you not coming? Nikita I will call you later. Why do I sound so cold? Shit I just called her Nikita, this isn't her fault she didn't ask for this.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the hurt in her expression, tears streaming down her cheeks. She screamed at me for being a dick but I still didn't answer. Keeta slammed the door and walked away and I drove off immediately.

I didn't know where I was going, I drove for miles and finally stopped at a secluded beach. I got out and screamed, fell to my knees with my head in my hands and let go of the emotions I couldn't hold onto any longer.

I knew something was wrong, Keeta was suffering she tried so hard to hide it from me and I loved her for trying to be so strong for me even though it's not necessary, as long as I'm with her and able to hold her it would be enough for me but this is too fucking much to handle.

We deserved this, I looked up to the sky and shouted do you hear? What have we done for you to be so cruel, we fucking deserve this.

I didn't realise how long I've been at the beach it was starting to get dark, I lifted myself up and dragged myself back to my car, one look at the rear view mirror confirmed that I looked like shit, I didn't care because that's exactly how I felt.

I started driving home to my place, I couldn't face Keeta not tonight.