Thirty Two

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THIRTY-TWO

            I say goodnight to Mr. Faulkner and wait until he’s out of sight before I toss his wedding band in the water and watch it sink. I have no intention of using it against him. I’m feeling pretty good after our little talk so I lay back in the grass to watch the stars come out. Of course my first thoughts are of the time Quillan and I spent the night out here and I’m hoping he’ll come join me again, when Mike shows up, interrupting my dreaming.

            “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he says stretching out beside me. “You missed dinner.”

            “You can always find me in my favorite spot,” I tell him, “I love it out here.”

            “Now that’s something I never thought I’d hear you say Avery Cooke.” He laughs.             I smile, “This place is different now.”

            “You’re different now too, Ave.”

             “Really? How so?” I’m curious as to what he will say.

            “Well for starters, you’ve gotten a lot more courage. You don’t seem as afraid as you used to be. You’re taking risk, doing daring things like working for the underground. Where did that come from? That’s certainly not my overly cautious friend Avery.”

            “I don’t know,” I shrug. I didn’t voluntarily come here you know. If I’d had it my way I would have ran all the way home that night, dove in my bed and pulled the covers over my head. But home wasn’t there anymore so it was a do or die situation. I decided to do. Then somewhere in the midst of it, I realized I was having fun.”

            “Or somewhere in the midst of it you realized you were falling in love.” Mike corrects me.

            “Maybe,” I say. “I don’t know what it feels like; I’ve never been in love before.”

            “Well, when you’re in love, you can’t stop thinking about the person…”

            Check

            “…You find yourself scanning a room for them, and making every effort to be where they are…”

            Check

            “You hang on to every word they say, and when something good happens, they’re the first person you want to tell…”

            Check

            “…And when something bad happens, they’re the first person you want to cry with…”

            Check

            “You’re constantly thinking of ways to help them, things that you can do to make them happy, to make life special for them.

            Check

            “…It’s hard to imagine life without them…”

            Double check

            Mike just described himself to me but now that I’ve spent nearly a month with Quillan, I feel the same way about him. Except when I am around Quillan I get that burning in my belly I don’t get when I am with Mike.          

            “So how do you know all this?” I ask, still star gazing. “Which one of your many girlfriends did you feel this way about?”

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