Hold Me In the Street

Written April 8th, 2016

"Let's go!" Dan said, grabbing Phil's hand and pulling him out of the door. Dan runs down the stairs, not letting go of his hand, the pace becomes to fast for Phil and he starts tripping over his feet. "Dan, slow down!" He calls. Dan immediately slows down to walking, he would never want Phil to be hurt. He loves him to much to see the smallest amount of pain inflicted on his love. Unless...

"Sorry, baby" he says apologetically. "It's fine." Phil pecks Dan's cheek, lovingly. They slowly walked down the rest of the stairs, hand in hand. Phil intertwined their fingers as they walked to the car. They haven't told their fans about the new car, neither of them had time to make a video, but there is really no good explanation to why no one tweeted about it.

The two boys got into the car, Dan driving. "Turn the radio on." Dan said as he pulled out of the car driveway. "Okay." Phil replied as he reached his hand forward to turn it on. The second Phil pressed the button 'Cake By the Ocean by: DNCE' started playing. Dan and Phil sang along and laughed. Soon the song changed, to a slower song.

When you hold me in the street
And you kiss me on the dance floor

This song sounded very familiar to Phil. He was certain he had herd it before.

I wish that we could be like that.
Why can't we be like that?
Cause I'm yours.

The vocals in the song were wonderful, the lyrics seemed so meaningful and true. This was always how Dan and Phil felt. Wanting to tell the world that they are together, that they are in love.

We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you I die a little more.
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough

Every lyric in the song made them both think. They wanted to tell the world, but what would everyone think? Dan was always protective of Phil, he never wanted to see him hurt again, emotionally or physically. Phil also had reason to worry about Dan. Dan has been a lot better, but he still has depression. Phil doesn't want to put him at risk.

They both wanted to tell their fans so much, but was it worth it?

It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
But I'll never show it on my face

Dan knows that Phil loves him, but he's one of those people who need to be shown. Phil is always so affectionate and sweet, Dan misses it when they're in public. He misses being able to kiss and hug his boyfriend, to show him how much he loves him, because no matter how big Dan's vocabulary is he will never know a word good enough to describe how he feels about Phil. It got to a point where 'love' just won't do.

But we know this, we got a love that is homeless
Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

Listening to this song fills them both with emotions. Dan can feel a sharp pain in his chest, all he wants is to tell people. Dan try's to be strong. No matter how he feels he won't cry, for Phil.

When you're with him, do you call his name
Like you do when you're with me? Does it-

Dan's hand quickly slapped the power button to the radio, turning it off. He knew this was about to get to real.

He can see tears in Phil's eyes, Something he never ever wanted to see. They kept their relationship a secret so they wouldn't have to go through pain. But was it worse this way?

The first tear fell from Phil's eyes, and the pain in Dan's chest only got worse. Dan pulled the car over, and hugged Phil.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Dan whispered into Phil's ear. Just like that tears started rapidly falling from Phil's eyes to Dan's shirt. Dan could hear Phil's whimpers as he sobbed into Dan's shoulder. "I'm so sorry." Dan was now sitting on Phil's lap, with his arms wrapped around him, lovingly. Dan fiddled with Phil's hair until he quieted down.

"Dan?" Phil asked, his voice muffled by Dan's shirt. "Yes?" Dan knew what was about to happen, he knew what Phil was going to ask him, and he was scared. "Why can't you hold me in the street?" He asked, his voice broken and shaky. Dan started crying to, it was to much for him. The pain they felt was worse than any pain they had ever felt before, it wasn't worth it.

"I don't know anymore, Phil. It doesn't make sense. No future pain could be worse than what I feel right now. I should be able to hold your hand and kiss you and hug you and whatever the fuck else, because you're my boyfriend. I love you, and I'm going to fucking show it. So this is it, Phil. After seven, almost eight, years of being together... I'm going to ask you this." Dan took Phil's hands in his and looked him in his colorful eyes.

They have been in love for so long, but going on dates— where they could be easily spotted— was out of the question. Both of their eyes were glazed over with tears. This was the perfect time to ask, and though Dan knows what Phil will say, he wants to ask him properly.

"Phil Lester, I've loved you since the day we met, I will love you till the day I die. One day I will put a ring on your finger, and many people think that's a lot to promise if we're not even dating yet, but today... We will be. So, Phil will you go on a date with me?" Phil was once again in tears. Good tears. The love of his life finally asked him out and there was only one more thing to ask.

"Where to?"