Oh #Shoey 2~Youtuber Fanfic

Chapter 8 ~ Here Goes Nothing

(Joey's POV)

It has been a week since the incident at Shane's house. He hasn't called and I still haven't slept more than an hour a night. I really thought he'd call. I really hoped he would, even though it probably wouldn't have been easy for him. None of this is. I don't know if I should call either. I didn't really do anything except try to keep him safe. But it was a threat to him.

I'm angry. Mostly at myself, although I know I shouldn't be. It's honestly not fair. I'm angry Shane is the way he is and my anger scares me. He can't help it, I tell myself. But deep down I'm bitter and saddened by just the thought of Shane.

The thing is...I don't know what I would do if he had called.

I've just been going on with my normal routine. I make breakfast, film videos, see friends. But I don't want to do any of it. It's all so empty and uninteresting to me. So I go to the gym every morning and night and sweat out the feelings I hold deep inside. I tell myself it is healthy for me.

God knows Shane isn't.

(Shane's POV)

I sit at the dining room table with my cell phone clutched in my hand so hard my knuckles are white. I didn't want to bother Lisa to come over just so I could make the phone call, so I'm alone. I've thought up a million speeches that I could say, wrote them down, crumpled them up, and thrown them all away. It's only Joey...right? He'll understand...right?

I don't know if he will, but I've got to try. I've got to get some goddamn closure. I terrorized him, the least I can do is give him a call.

I unlock my phone and dial the number.

Here goes nothing.

(Joey's POV)

I'm filming a video when my phone rings from the nightstand. I feel my cheery video-personality-face drop to my real-Joey face. Which has become very habitual these days. I get up from the chair in front of the camera and rush to my nightstand. It couldn't be Shane, I think. But it is him.

I snatch up the phone, holding it for a brief moment before picking up the call.

"Hello?" I hear myself say with a voice that doesn't exactly sound like mine.

"Hey Joey, we need to talk." Shane says on the other line, as though everything is normal. As though he didn't have a mental breakdown right in front of my eyes just a mere week ago.

"You don't say." I say before I can even think. I regret it immediately but Shane doesn't seem thrown off by it.

"Yeah.", he pauses, "well...I just...Joey..." , he stutters, breathlessly.

"What Shane? I'm sorta busy so what is it." I snap. Why am I being so rude!?

"Joey, I know this is late, but I owe you the biggest apology. I shouldn't have freaked out at you and done what I did to you. I know it's inexcusable, but I really just was in a bad place. I'm trying to get it together. It's gonna take a while though." Shane says. I sit there for a second. I do not know what to say. I know what I should say. But there's an evil part of me that wants to reject this apology. To say, "You dripped your actual blood on me. You're gonna have to do a lot better than 'I'm sorry' to get me back in my life." Luckily I'm not a bad person.

"Hello? You still there?" Shane asks.

"Yes, just processing."

"Joey what I did was really fucked up. I know.  I am really sorry. I wanted to call sooner,  I did.   Everytime I picked up the phone I...I...had a panic attack."