Oh #Shoey 2~Youtuber Fanfic

Chapter 5 ~ I Don't Give a Fuck

*****TRIGGER WARNING*****

(Shane's POV)

I just stare at her.

"So...can I?" she persists.

"Okay."

We sit down on the sofa awkwardly. I pull my sleeves over my hands and chew on the inside of my cheek. I'm nervous. I don't know if I can keep it together. I finally look her in the eyes.

"Shane. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for messing with you at the hospital. And I'm sorry I hurt you so bad when I broke up with you."

"Thanks for the apology."

Lisa frowned. "Listen, I understand that you might not wanna forgive me, but can we at least be friends? I miss having you around. Your stupid jokes and your straightener on the bathroom sink and staying up late watching TV. I'm not asking you to get back together with me but I still need you in my life in some way."

Wow. I look at my feet. She really does care. God, I still do too. And this makes me think: am I even gay? Yeah I kissed Joey and liked it...but Lisa...

"Shane? Are you in there."

My head snaps up. I can tell my eyes are wide. It's as if she's looking into my thoughts and for once I don't mind. Her eyes flit up and down and I feel self conscious.

"Shane...you look different. I didn't see before but your face is totally thinner. Are you...you know...okay?'

I smile. "Duh! I just am shaping up. Ya know, cuz I'm a bachelor now, I need to look good for the ladies" I kid. All tension evaporates instantly.

"Oh so your some kind of casa nova now huh?"

"Yeah that's right!"

"Okay suuuure..." Lisa giggles.

"What's so funny?! Girls still like my 2005 emo haircut!" I say with mock defense.

We end up talking for an hour on the couch devouring a bad of chips and a jar of salsa- Lisa's favorite. I feel so happy and weightless. I walk her to the door.

"I'm glad I got you back Shane."

"Same here." I don't feel like I want to kiss her or anything anymore. I just love her like a sister or something. It's amazing.

After Lisa leaves I grab my phone to call Joey. I want to tell him Lisa and I are on the good side now. She even has a gay best friend (unknowingly of course).

*Ring ring ring*

"Hey Shane! Long time no talk huh?" Joey says.

"Haha yeah right. I've got some good news. Lisa and I made up."

(Joey's POV)

What?! How could he after what she's done to him.

"Shane, I don't know if that's a good thing..."

"Why not? I had a lot of fun today with her."

"Wait you actually hung out with her?!"

"Yeah."

"SHANE! She ripped your heart out!"

"Yeah and so did you." he retorts. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach.

"But...but I'm...Shane I just think you should think about it. She really really effected you and it might not be smart to let her into your life again."

"Joey. You can't tell me who to let into my life."

"I just want you to be happy."

"I AM. Seems you aren't so happy with Lisa talking to your man, huh Joey?"

"I..." I know he's right. I'm totally jealous because I want to be the one to make Shane happy. However I can't let Shane know. "How dare you accuse me of that Shane! I just mean...in the future will you still be happy?"

(Shane's POV)

I roll my eyes at the phone.

"Joey I honestly don't give a fuck about the future right now. I'm just taking it one day at a time. Maybe you should too." And then I hang up before he can give another bogus excuse to why Lisa and I can't be friends.

I know I probably just hurt him. I know it. But tonight it's not going to bother me. This is his problem to deal with.

(Joey's POV)

I cannot believe he just hung up on me. I try to call him three more times with no response. What if he cuts because of this. It'll be all my jealous fault. I have to go over there.

***********

I knock on his apartment door. And it opens in five second.

"Hi Joey." Shane says. He walks to the kitchen. I follow. We are divided by the island in the middle of it.

(Shane's POV)

I knew he'd come here. He'll wanna apologize, but I'm not even mad anymore. It was only natural for him to get jealous.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I stepped out of line. I'm happy your back with Lisa." I can't tell he wants to puke on his own words. I'm disgusted by this lame apology.

All I say is "Okay."

"Shane," Joey coos " You can't stay mad at me forever."

Here he goes again. 'Shane you can't' 'Shane don't' 'Shane how could you' on and on. He keeps trying to baby me. I'm so done.

"Stop telling me what to do!" I shout.

"I only want to protect you Shane!" He yells back.

"I'm not some sort of child! You can't protect me!"

(Joey's POV)

Shane's face is so scornful. He turns around opens up a kitchen drawer and spins to face me over the kitchen island. In his hand he's holding a razor blade. He rips up his sleeve and slashes his wrist.

"Shane cutting is bad" He says mockingly.

"Shane stop." I say quietly.

"Shane stop." He repeats with another slash. Blood drips down his arm to the counter but he just rips up his other sleeve. "Shane go to the doctor, Shane get help, Shane that's not good for you." With every statement he makes a cut on one of his arms.

I lunge over the counter and grab the blade. I feel the sting of it as it cuts my hand.

But Shane just pulls out another one and continues. He walks of the kitchen to the middle of the dining room and sits on the table. "SHANE YOU'RE GAY, SHANE I HATE YOU, SHANE GET BETTER GRADES, SHANE YOU'RE SO FUCKED UP, SHANE YOU'RE UGLY...."

There's blood on the floor and the table and all over him. I keep yelling at him to stop, I keep trying to pull the blades from his hands but he just keeps repeating me and cutting deeper. I know he won't stop. I know I can't make him stop unless I leave. I'm wet with tears and blood, sitting on the floor watching him destroy himself. I crawl to the door and depart.

(Shane's POV)

I hear the door slam. I know I took it too far. I know that was cruel. I know that I'm going to have to apologize and we're probably gonna fight again because I'm so fucked up. But right now, I honestly Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

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Someone has started reading my story again so I decided if one person was reading it, then I should upadate it just for them. I'm sorry this was so...disturbing and I promise I'm not a pychopath.....so yeah 0_o

~Lauren