The Pizza Guy // Editing

Chapter 21: Songs.

I haven't noticed it lately but I've been into writing. Writing songs, my feelings, thoughts, basically everything. I actually have gone 1 week without cutting because of writing, and Shawn too.

Now if you were wondering, yes, I still cut. It's became more of a routine unfortunately and I hardly think about it, I just do it.

Anyways, Shawn and I hang out more now. He flirts a little but I don't think much of it. More of a sign of sympathy since blabber mouth over here (Dylan) decided to tell him about dad. Shawn's close and all but telling him about dad, was too much.

I finished my last word of my new chorus to a song I'm working on and closed my black and white polka dotted journal, placing on my night stand.

My stomach growls for food but should I really eat? I could lose a couple pounds for the first day of hell-I mean school tomorrow.

I'm absolutely dreading it, I cannot go one second without thinking of the cruel faces laughing and pointing, some taking their phones out to record it, what assholes.

You know what? I'm going to be stronger this time. I won't let anybody bully me tomorrow, just try to be confident. How hard can that be? Right?

I ignore my aching stomach and started practicing my song more. I pulled out my acoustic guitar and opened my notebook to the page I just finished. I'm not really good at playing the guitar or singing really but I try. I'm still working around the verses because I have no clue whatsoever of what to write for it so I just play the chorus until I get ideas.

((A/N: I know the following content isn't the actual lyrics but since she just finished the chorus and isn't finished with the song, this is what she came up with so far))

I'm sorry if I seem uninterested
Or I'm not listenin' or I'm indifferent
Truly, I ain't got no business here
But since my friends are here
I just came to kick it but really
I would rather be at home all by myself not in this room

With people who don't even care about my well-being
So pardon my manners, I hope you'll understand
That I'll be here

Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh
I ask myself what am I doing here?
Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here
And I can't wait till we can break up outta here

It's still missing something but I don't know what. I was ripped from my thoughts by the sound of clapping behind me. I turned around to see Shawn in my doorway. My cheeks heated up.

"You sound...amazing" he said.

"Thanks" I said as he sat beside me on the bed.

"You made that song?"

"Yeah, but I'm not really don't with it yet"

"It's the verses huh" he asked staring at my journal.

"Yup" I said popping the p.

"Lets go to a party" he said. I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"What does that have to do with the song?" I giggled.

"It'll give you ideas, that's how I get my ideas for my songs, and by the looks of it you're song sounds like it's about a party so why not? "

"Okay cool, so when?"

"After school? My friend's hosting a party"

"Sure" I smiled.

"Okay, I got to go but wear something casual" he patted my knee and left the room.

Well...I'll be ready for tomorrow then.