Hillary's POV:
Since I know Harry is a vampire, I decided I'm going to spy on each member if One Direction separately. First on my list: Zayn.
Operation: Zayn
I roll into the park in all black. I see Zayn and some random nerd chick who dresses like a drugged hobo in nerd glasses and suspenders. I could be smart and hide in a bush, but my heel boots would get dirty. So I sit on the bench kinda next to them. Ok, maybe I sat inbetween them. Zayn gets up and stands in front of her.
"Your so ugly and poor. Suspenders? Did you find that in the trash?" Omg, he's soooo smart and right!
"No I um..." she says shyly.
"Here, let me help you." He says taking off the glasses and throwing them at some lady with a stroller. Omg, he's so much like me! ♥ He takes her ponytail holder off and the nerd's hair is suddenly blonde with amazing curls. I gape and stand up to look at her eyes, the biggest blue eyes I ever seen! How does she look so beautiful just by taking of glasses and ponytails?! The world may never know. And btw, I toats didn't call her beautiful.
"Wow! You look so sexy all of a sudden! Good girl, will you date me, your bully since elementary? And happened to crush your self-esteem?" He says hopefully.
"Oh that's all in the past! I love you! Even though all those times you made me go home and try to kill myself!" She exclaims and they start kissing. I feel my eye twitch as I slide away. They are about to do something on that park bench all five are them are supposed to be doing with ME. At the same time.
★ ★ ★
Hilary's list:
Harry: The Vampire
Zayn: The Bully
★ ★ ★
Operation: Louis
I see Louis at a local bubble tea shop wearing some tight skinny jeans and walking with two bubble teas in hand to a table. He sits at the table and slides the other tea to another man in tight skinny jeans. I sqint my eyes and push my chair closer to their table.
"This is fabulous Cory." Louis says drinking his tea.
"I know right?" 'Cory' says and grabs Lou's free hand.
"I know this is sudden, but I love you." Louis says.
Cory nods his head. "Yea, me to. But I feel like we need a GIRL in this relationship." Cory says loudly. And a streetwalker-ish girl comes out of no where.
"I just LOVE men that are in touch with their fenimane side. She says swaying her hips in he really short shorts and bra for a top.
"Well, who said three's a crowd?" Louis says smirking.
"Right. Lets go to my place." The girl says with her heels clicking on the floor as she walks away with her hips still swaying.
"Gay routine. Works every time!" Louis says and smacks Cory's hand. Then they both follow the whorish girl out the bubble tea shop.
"Oh em gee... oh em geeeeeeeee!!!!" I scream. "Everyone! That should be ME right now! MEEEEEEE!" I roar to all the hippies drinking their bubbley tea. They just all stare at me blankly.
"FINE! I'M OUT OF HERE YOU BUBBLE WHORES!" I say and head for the door. "BUBBLEEEEE WHOREEEEESSSSS!" I hiss one last time before summersulting out the door.
★ ★ ★
Hillary's List:
Harry: The Vampire
Zayn: The Bully
Louis: The Fake Gay (who likes bubble whores)
★ ★ ★
Operation: Naill
Using my One Detection: One Direction Tracking Device I secretly planted in all the 1D members while they were taking showers I find that Naill is in an ally a couple of blocks from the bubble tea shop.
I see a girl who looks like a model walking down the street. Wait did I say model? I meant broken bottle. She stops at the ally way and looks in.
"Wow! That ally sure does look scary! I wonder if Starbucks is down there!" She says and wonders down the ally. Naill comes out amd grabs her by the waist.
"Stop right there! I am app-part of the Brit-ish Mafia and you just saw me commit a ma-dah!"
"I ain't seen nothin'! Don't kill me!" She says standing there now free from his hold but not running. All of this is like a scary movie, why won't she run?! Of course I wouldn't because of certain things but... she should!
"Come with me!" He says then throws her in a unmarked white van and drives off hitting polls and running over stop signs.
★ ★ ★
Hillary's list:
Harry: The Vampire
Zayn: The Bully
Louis: The Fake Gay
Naill: The Kidnapper
★ ★ ★
Operation Liam:
It's dark outside by now and I have to squint to see my One Detection: One Direction Tracking Device. The last on my list; Laim, seems to be in the middle of the woods for some odd reason. Hmm... I'm kinda scared of the woods. Oh well, I would get eaten by a thousand owls for my One Direction!
Walking though the woods is pretty hard. I fell flat on my face 7 times, a bug flew up my nose 3 times, and up my mouth 10. Just as I'm chocking on my 10th mysterious huge insect, I hear a deep howl. I look around and I see yellow eyes.
"Wa-wa-wa-wa wah-wa waaaahhhhhhh." I stutter. The yellow eyes move closer to me.
"Wa-wa-wa wah waaahhhhh!" I stutter louder. The yellow eyes are now showing there full body.
"Wah-wa WEREWOLF!" I scream and finally start running full force down the woods. The wolf is right behind me when my One Detection: One Direction Tracking Devise, starts beeping of the charts. That's not just any werewolf, it's Liam! I turn on my heels and face him. He stops chasing me and just stares at me confused on why I stopped running. Liam sits down and whines a bit. I slowly walk closer to him. Once we are face to face I see the Liam in him. My eyes bug out and so those his.
"Ruh roo." Liam says in a Scooby Doo voice. "Monkey!" I cock my head to one side confused and Liam runs off.
"Wait! Come back!" I shout after him. He gracefully darts though the trees into a camping ground. A country-looking girl is sitting near a campfire singing The Campfire Song when Liam just swoops her up and jumps off a cliff into the full moon. The family stands there baffeled till they catch site of me. They all get out torches and pitch forks for their back pockets. I hiss and run back to my mansion feeling pooped.
★ ★ ★
Hillary's List:
Harry: The Vampire
Zayn: The Bully
Louis: The Fake Gay
Naill: The Kidnapper
Liam: The Werewolf
★ ★ ★
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The Stupid Fan Fiction (1D Fanfic Parody)
HumorI walk out the door and start walking randomly on the street in the middle of the night. Because my mom is never here and my 30 maids don't care where I go. "Omg! Where is her new house?!?" I shout to myself. Did I mention I have a problem screamin...
