To Kill Him || N.H (AU)

Fourteen

It was a Saturday morning when I woke up, meaning that Niall would have his day off and is supposed to be somewhere inside the flat. Here I am seated on the bed with my hair flying in different directions, asleep senses and eyes barely open. It was raining outside, a perfect time to just sit on the bed and probably do nothing, maybe play board games with Niall as we usually do every weekends but to my surprise, when I looked at the other side of the bed, he was nowhere to be seen, I wonder what he could possibly do in a very early morning of his day off, normally he would just be the somnolent he is and be asleep past afternoon or so, it's not that his job was a tiresome one but lately we always have small midnight talks about how our day has been and I guess as our conversation flows, he forgets about the time and sleeps past midnight that causes him to be a little tired whenever he goes to the music shop and it was an advantage him and Louis were best of friends that the manager of the work place he works at lets him take a nap whenever he wants.

I stretched my limbs and got up the bed when suddenly I heard a ring and vibrations coming from the night stand beside Niall's side, I walked towards it and and took a glance at the ringing phone. I felt something down on my stomach when I saw the caller ID, I didn't knew why but there was a little disappointment in me once I saw who was ringing Niall at this hour. I sat on the bed once again and scooped the phone in my hands, the phone kept ringing and vibrating but I didn't do anything other than stare at it. The picture, the caller ID and those cute emojis at the beginning and the end of the caller ID which is named as "Baby" with a smiley face. The picture was of a guy with a figure similar to Niall or probably that is Niall and a girl on his arms, they seem to be kissing or snuggling, filtered in black and white. I continued to stare at it until the ring ended, the phone displayed the lock screen and the picture has now vanished but the picture hasn't yet erased on my mind. Just by looking at that picture, you can really feel their love for each other, with Niall's smile in between their kiss and the way the lady on the picture was gripping his hair, they looked really cute. I put the phone down and sighed, lately I've always been feeling bitter and such a hopeless romantic, I've been thinking about what could have happened if Zayn and I became a couple, I've been thinking about what could have happened if I dated a guy or have a boyfriend right now, just imagining the thought of someone not related with blood, care so much for you and love you is making me wonder, could it be mind blowing or out of this world? Or something very magical? I used to be a kid who believed in fairy tales and happily ever afters so I can't prevent myself to think about it but the way I hear it from the people, they always say that falling in love hurts, it makes me even wonder why you're still staying on that relationship if it hurts? Love is supposed to be a never-felt-before experience and breath taking, or is it just what I think since I haven't felt it yet and I am too naive about it?

I feel like I'm rushing myself to find that guy for me but I just can't stand it being anxious and worried, what if I end up being alone for eternity? Plus I want to feel the magic of falling in love, I want to know what it's like to feel something so new that only that significant person can make you feel. I won't deny it anymore but... I really want to fall in love, it's really abrasive because I can't seem to stop what I'm feeling, my longing for someone who can make all the butterflies in my stomach drive crazy is making me abrasive. I want to know what it feels like but how can I know if I can't even bring myself to have a mash on someone?

I checked on Niall's phone again and it seems that his lady did't call again, I didn't knew Niall had a girlfriend, what would she think if she finds out her boyfriend is sleeping with another girl? I know there's nothing going on between us but he's still in a relationship, I was doing a very bad thing all along and I still didn't knew about it.

I heard a knock on the door and it suddenly opened to see Niall pop his face then got inside the room with a wet face.

"Mornin' Victoria" he said, we smiled at the same time and it made me laugh how predictable our actions can be. He was gesturing for me to get him a towel on his nightstand and so I did and threw one at him to dry his face. I was smiling the whole time for no apparent reason so I frowned to make that smile disappear, I didn't want to look like a fool and a creep when Niall finds me looking at him with that expression. He finished drying his face then flashed another smile, trying to fade the smile on my face earlier was useless thanks to Niall. I remembered the call so I mentioned it to him.