It had been a week since i decided that a boob job was a little extreme and i had started eating more. i still felt imperfect and i wanted to change that because i could see that J was loosing interest in me very quickly. Just the other day i saw him staring at Liana one of the really perfect girls at our school.
as i was leaving English J pulled me back making me loose my balance and fall to the ground.
"Oh my goodness, babe I'm so sorry here let me help you with your books" as J picked up my books a flyer fell out of a folder, i quickly picked it up hoping nobody saw what it was but J pulled it right out of my hands.
"J! PLEASE DON'T READ THAT" the flyer he was now reading was the flyer i printed out from the computer for the boob job i was thinking of getting.
"Babe, whos is this?" J had a sad look in his eyes
"Not mine it must have been put in there by someone else" i giggled nervously i went in to give him a kiss on the cheek but he dodged it.
"please don't lie to me babe,this is yours because it has you name on the booking area. are you actually going to go through with this?" he started to get a little cross since i have promised i would stop trying so hard to be perfect.
"IM SORRY J I REALLY AM, I CANCELED THE APPOINTMENT LAST WEEK" i started to cry. J grabbed my hand and said
"i love you the way you are" then he said the words that i dread most
"you are close to perfect". those words got on my nerves so much because whenever i thought i was perfect someone would tell me i am "close to perfect" it made me loose hope.
After school i sat there in my bedroom looking at photographs of me before i went to school, i looked so innocent. my hair was long and matted at the ends, i had no makeup on and my clothes weren't perfect.. actually i wasn't perfect at all. if i could go back i would try to make myself less obsessed with way i look because now that I've started i just wont let myself quit. i have an obsession with being perfect and it is tearing my family apart.
'RING RING' my phone buzzed off in my back pocket.
"Hey babe" i knew it was J as i had 10 missed calls from him
"hey beautiful, look if you really want to get that boob job go ahead i mean its not up to me" he obviously felt bad for what he did before hand at school
"J. I will only do it if you want me to do it"
"I don't care what you do. you are almost per-" i stopped him
"WAIT! i don't want to be close to perfect i WANT to be perfect"
"is this what this is all about?"
"YES YES IT IS OH GOD WHEN I MET YOU I WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU THEN YOU SAID I WAS CLOSE TO PERFECT AND I WANTED TO BE PERFECT FOR YOU SO I CHANGED AND I WAS STILL CLOSE TO PERFECT" i screamed into the phone
"I had no idea" he went silent i was worried since he is never silent.
"you there?"
"yeah sorry I'm here i was just thinking too much" he was going to say something then stopped
"i- i gotta go bye" he hung up and didn't even say i love you i knew something bad was going to happen.
The next morning after i walked to school i entered home group and for a change i was with first one there. i set up my books and pencil case out and finished drinking my iced coffee. nobody arrived so i decided to go for a little walk to my locker and put away my bag. When i got to my locker i put in my code and as soon as i opened it a pink note fell out and landed next to my foot. i bent down and picked it up. on the inside of the note there was a little paragraph of writing and it said.
-I'm so sorry but our time together is up as you are trying to be 100 percent perfect and i can not handle with it anymore, i really love you but you put this onto yourself sincerely, Jason-
i broke down into tears i loved him so much and because of my obsession it led him to break up with me. i stormed to home group and saw that everyone was seated i walked right in front of J.. i mean Jason and screamed at him.
"I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU AND ALL I GET IS A FLIMSY NOT IN MY LOCKER TELLING ME ITS OVER" the whole class gasped as i have been the quiet girl in the corner for a long time.
"CHILL" he brushed his shoulder as if there was dirt on there and popped his collar
"DON'T TELL ME TO CHILL I DID ALL THIS FOR YOU.. FOR YOU!" he stood up
"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME I LIKED THE OLD YOU BUT YOU WENT AND CHANGED" i shot him daggers
"YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS, THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU MADE ME FEEL NOT GOOD ENOUGH BY SAYING THAT I WAS CLOSE TO PERFECT". Darcy grabbed hold of me and sat me down.
"What was- hah sorry what was that?" she giggled mid sentences
"he broke up with me OVER A NOTE IN THE LOCKER" i screamed the last bit out across the room so he could hear me.
i don't see why guys are so complicated.
