The Lies Of Love {COMPLETE}

Chapter 5

Be careful because butterflies can be wasps. When your stomach flutters and your hand shakes and your cheeks flush, sometimes it's not love, it's pain.

*back to Katherine*

After what happened last night, Elijah didn't attend our first class, science. Then I asked Landon, his friend, he said he wasn't also in Theology. I asked his room mate, Andrew,  he said Elijah went back to his hometown, early vacation for spring break. But I know he is just somewhere or hiding in his room and lying.

''No, he's here'' I said

''No, he's not'' Andrew said  ''He left last night'' he added

It crushes me, maybe he planned suicide or something worse. So I went to Cassandra's room.

''Cass'' I said

''Katherine?''  ''What are you doing here?'' she added

''Do you know where's Elijah?'' 

''No, and why do you care?'' 

''Cass, I know we're not yet okay, but can we please cut first the drama and tell me where's Elijah?'' I said

''Katherine, you don't even care about us, you don't even care about him!''

''I do care abut him''

''Stop being that person''

''What person?!'' I shouted

''The one who pretend she cares! This isn't you Katherine! Elijah came here last night crying like hell''  ''He loved you, Katherine! And you can't even show and tell that you loved him too''  '' He has been there for you Katherine, and all you see it's just Elijah, you don't see who he really is.'' she said

''I know he's been there for me, I just didn't knew that he liked me''

''That's the problem Katherine, we need to tell it to you for you to know, at first we felt it's going to turn out fine, we're the one who tried our best for you, but still end up getting hurt.''  ''You know what he said to me? He said I cant be good enough for everybody, but I'll always be the best for the one who deserves me,  then he cried lot worse''

''Cass, do you know where is he?''

''He is somewhere that's safe, don't worry he is not going to commit suicide, he's not dumb.'' she said while walking away.

Currently my life right now is such a mess! Awkward moment with my best friend Cass, worrying about someone who likes me, Elijah had to understand that my love for him is only for a friend, he knows that I'm in a relationship!'' God why do these things happened to me?'' I said to myself.

As I laying on my bed wondering what to do in my life, there is this song that my sister, Colleen, was so addicted in this song and whenever she's feeling sad she just plays this song and I hardly memorize it, and after 5 years not remembering that song, it finally pop out into my head.

I don't know where i'm at, I'm standing at the back and I'm tired  of waiting. I said, then the tears fell.

In that line I wasn't thinking about my current problems, I was thinking about Matt.

  Waiting here in in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing. I said once more, I wasn't singing the song, i was reciting the song, like a poem.

And then I started to sang the chorus,   I shot for the sky,  I'm stuck on the ground,  So why do I try? I know I'm gonna fall down. I thought I could fly, So why did I drown? You never know why It's coming down, down, down. I cried.

It's like singing with feelings, but actually more crying less singing. In that song, there is this part that Colleen cried so hard every time she sings it, so I sang it.

  Oh, I'm going down, down, down. I can't find another way around and I don't wanna hear the sound of losing what I've never found. I cried once more.

''Oh God, please help me, I can't do this anymore.'' I said  '' I don't know if I'm mad at Matt or I just miss him so much, i just, I just can't do this anymore'' I cried

It's 12 midnight, everyone's sleeping and happy, me? I'm still crying, few hours ago I texted my Mom, I ask her to come over and help me, I said '' I can't do this anymore'' and I really can't.

While I was crying so hard, someone knocked at my door, So I opened it, it was my mom. My chest was filled with joy.

''Katherine, a friend's job is to make you feel better about yourself, but she should also understand, and you Katherine, you should prove to her that your choice was right.'' My mom said

''Mom, is my choice right?'' I asked

''I don't know, I didn't made the choice, a person that will only know it is you, Katherine, did you choose the right choice? Did you make yourself feel better or just make yourself even worse?'' 

''I don;t know mom'' I cried, she patted me in the back and she said ''I'm here, We're all here'' while giving a paper.

''What is this?'' I asked

'See for yourself'' she said

I flipped the paper and I read what's written.

''American Airlines..''  ''Mom, am I? Am I going to London to see Matt?'' I added

''Yes you are'' she said while nodding her head up.

''Oh my gosh mom, thank you so much'' I said joyfully.

My flight is tomorrow at 5:00 AM, I'm so excited but yet nervous.

I just can't wait.