to him.

47;

Dear, You.

My things are getting packed up, slowly but surely.

I am going to be moving down to where Ash lives right now, to go to College. I still don't really know what I am going to do with myself. I am kind of suicidal, kind of depressed and kind of messed up, but Ash doesn't seem to mind that much.

I still haven't spoken a few words, but I learned sign language so that Ash and I can have 'normal' conversations with each other since we will be living together. 

Graduation still isn't for another month and a half, but I still don't really care. I am leaving this town whether anyone likes it, or not. 

In Psychology class we had to write a story or an essay about where we think life will take us. Apparently mine was so moving that the teacher just had to read it out to the class for everyone to hear. 

I wrote about how I think life will take me only a few steps forward and about a hundred steps back, but I'll be okay with that because my few steps forward will be after I graduate because I am moving away and kind of finding myself. I've already taken about 30 of the 100 steps backwards so I kind of need change. 

I wrote that even though life has been really horrible for me so far, I know that somewhere along the lines, I should be okay again. I know I will.

So far, I've only packed up my mom's collection of books. It's a pretty big collection anyway so that's okay. I am taking them because I have barely read much of them and I want to read all of them all before my time on this world is over. 

My plan is to take all of the things in this house that will show that I ever even lived here in the first place. That I even exist at all. I want any memory of me to be completely wiped out. And I know that my mom and dad will obviously not forget that they had a son, but still, I don't want to exist in this place anymore.

Basically create a new life for myself where I don't write these pointless letters anymore and where Ash is my bestfriend still. Where I can also sort of talk again, I don't know how I will start to, but maybe I can take speech therapy. People do it all the time. 

Anyways, I kind of have some homework to do and more packing to start. I've sort of been procrastinating for the longest time.

From, Me.