The 24 Year Old Project

Whatever you do, Mason, don't fight it.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I TOLD YOU NO FUCKING FUNNY BUSINESS!" said Boss Chuck as he was about to throw one of the hardest bitch slaps I'll ever receive in my life. Let me hit pause in this moment first because this boss of mine looks a lot like a Chinese Triad boss, and he's about to dish out a certifiably mafia-esque backhand slap that will be forever remembered and commemorated in my own wall of shame. I don't exactly have a wall, but my memory will have this moment etched together with the time I accidentally farted loudly while I was in mid-air doing a layup during a basketball game in college.

Hitting play in 3... 2... 1...

Square on the jaw! I had to take a step back to avoid falling on my ass, but man, Old Chuck hits so hard, I thought he punched me. I had a confused look on my face because I still have no idea why this guy slapped the shit out of me. I tried to compose myself and figure out within the five-second gap I had before he started shouting again. Instead, I had the balls to shout back without thinking. Joyce started to rush at my side looking just as confused as I was.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SLAP ME?!" yep, not a good idea bro.

"WHY? YOU'RE FUCKING ASKING ME WHY?!" he threatened to bitch slap me again but this time, Joyce intervened.

"LOLO! What's wrong with you?!" she tried to restrain Old Chuck.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!" he shouted back. This is the part where I lost track of what was happening because of the commotion Old Chuck caused. The receptionists Dara and that other brunette girl rushed in together with Jimmy the front yard security guy.

"Is everything okay sir? Is this guy bothering you and Miss Joyce?" Jimmy said.

"What the hell Jimmy?" I exclaimed because why in Hades' hell wouldn't he recognize me.

"Oh shit, is that you Mace?" He had a stupid smile on his face.

"We're fine, go back out front. This is a family matter." Joyce gestured for the three of them to go out.

"Okay, ma'am." They all replied in unison.

In this moment of shame where I have no idea what's happening, I'm glad that Joyce was the one to save the day. Not even Jimmy, a burly wide-eyed six-foot tall man who I first met when he was still a bouncer in a bar that does band gigs, can do a thing about Old Chuck losing his shit.

"DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER, MASON?!" old Chuck shouted again, and despite the soundproofing of this hall, I sure as hell know that the front yard staff is listening in via the CCTV microphone.

"WAIT. WHAT?" I wanted to say something incredibly witty but I feel that I'm going to get my ass kicked if I did. "We never did anything aside from order drive-thru and drive around the metro which you asked me to do instead of going straight here in the office!"

"Then explain this you prick!" He shoved his tablet to my chest, showing a tweet from well-known gossip columnist with a photo attachment of my car parked in front of a motel with the windows down. I tried to take a closer look, and I could see Joyce in the passenger side smiling while looking down on her lap and me head turned to my side of the window talking to someone. Really, this is one of those 'taken-out-of-context' moments where people will be misled to believe the opposite of the story.

"Lolo, you got it all twisted!" Joyce came to my defense.

"What do you mean, Joyce?" old Chuck asked.

"Really, old man, you are starting to get stupid." I didn't mean that, but I was in the heat of the moment.

"What did you just say to me?" he tried to cock for another backhand slap, but Joyce held him up and tried to stop him.