this is me when I was 80, I can't believe it's been 12 year since I looked this hot. I want to tell you guys why I'm such a nice person... Ok?
So when I was a young lady, like 2 or so, I used to do drugs and stuff, but not really. I did cocaine and heroine but none of the bad shit, and my dad caught me and took all of it.
The next day I seen him doing it, yes lady's and gents, John cena used to be a drug addict. But I yelled at him and said "DADDY DRUGZ ARE BAD FOR YOU YOU BIG JELLY BEAN"
and he just turned to me and said "little slut, you are stupid I'm gonna be back, I have to go get something from the store, Aka Walmart, aka the bestest store in the world... In the universe"
my dad said his medium sized poem and then abandoned me, I cried over the fact that he is a poemist and I am notist.
5 years later my daddy came back from the store with a huge bottle of something, idk what it was but little did I know, it would change my life forever, as for the better too.
He took the cap off of the bottle and then splashed it in my face, and all I felt was burning and my skin melting and I didn't know what to do, so I sat there and said "wow dad, that feels good, do it again"
and John cena turned to me and said with a devilish smirk "I am cena, john cena, and I just splashed you in the face with acid. The rest of the acid is for your dear old mother, thy biggest which ever"
he finished his poem with a big growl in his manly voice and I imagined him as a bear and I was pleased with the image, my dad was hot as a bear.
"You know what dad? You'd be a hot bear!" ..
Then I realized, the burning on my face felt good so I thought, wow I found my new habit...
So the next day I went to the pet store and bought a snail, which I named snyler, when I got home I grabbed some salt and gasoline from my fridge..
I sat down like a princess and took my snail, put a pinch of salt on him, then poured some gas on him.......
Within 10 seconds he was DISINTEGRATING, he melted right in front of my eyes... I was so happy.
I got up and said to my daddy "oh dad, oh John cena, cena John, thank you so much for splashing me with acid, it gave me the idea to melt snails..."
I continued with my sentence only wishing I could be a poemist like my daddy. "now I know what I want to be when I'm an old person, a snail melter!"
after I said my that my dad took off out the door and it wasn't for a few days that I seen him on the news ...
"CENA THE JOHN MADE IT HIS MISSION TO MAKE SNAILS EXTICT. AND GUESS WHAT PEOPLE OF THIS FAT WORLD? HE DID IT! SNAILS ARE FOREVER GONE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A WORD CENA JOHn?"
there was a long pause before I seen my hot bear dad cena the John on my tv screen. . .
"Yes, I'd like to thank my ugly ass daughter for inspiring me to kill all of the snails, see she wanted to be a snail melter when she got older and she should never get what she wants... So I made it my mission to kill off all of the snails before she got to.. Cause I hate her:))))))))))"
"WOW JOHNNY, THAT WAS AN AMAZING POEM! AND YES IVE SEEN HOW UGLY YOUR DAUGHTER IS, SO I WOULD SEE WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO MAKE HER LIFE MISERABLE!"
............ then I drank acid and died.!
but then I revived my self because I will never die,., NEVER
