The Letters // Cameron Dallas

// Chapter 14

What was I doing in this car? Why was I driving back? Being with family for Christmas felt so good but I still felt a void in my heart. It was something like a heartburn and I kept scratching and grabbing my chest while on the highway. 

I've passed about 20 exits and wanted to turn around with 10 of them. Even when I officially returned, I sat in the parking lot for another 20 minutes. It wasn't for self reflection nor self realization. It was to check messages, check any social media accounts, pretty much anything that would distract me from what was really going on.

"Hello?" I called out once I walked through the door.

There was silence. I figured maybe he was sleeping but there was no music on. The air didn't have a single trace of perfume or cologne, no sign that anyone had been in here for at least the past hour. I didn't know if I was relieved or sad. Because part of me wasn't ready to face him just yet while the other part of me had tons of thoughts ready to pour at his feet.

Just to be sure, I went to knock on his bedroom door.

"Cameron?"

The door wasn't closed all the way. This was when I was about to go against my better judgment. I just went for it. He certainly wasn't home and I was taking a risk stepping into his room. It wasn't like I remembered. He had changed around some things on the wall, his curtain was left open as well as his blinds. He actually made his bed, something neither of us ever care to do.

Everything was still. There was a sadness to this stillness; especially knowing he's been feeling down according to Nash.

I felt inclined to take a seat on the edge of his bed near the nightstand, running my fingers across the stack of books next to his lamp. On the top of the stack was his journal. But I figured I already crossed enough lines walking into his room without his permission.

"Dammit," I whispered, addressing my tangled thoughts.

. . . . .

Chantel was back in Canada for the break and Troye just got back into town like me. So considering Cameron was nowhere to be found and I had nothing to do, Troye and I decided to meet in the heart of town to this new coffee & tea spot. Troye got a french vanilla cappuccino while I got a cup of hibiscus mint tea.

"I'm sick of this, Ellie," Troye spoke with all the sass in the world. "You're both in your 20's yet you're acting like it's the hardest thing in the world to express your feelings."

I gave him a grimacing look.

"Don't even look at me like that," he said. "You know I'm right and you're wrong. Simple as that. And...oh no."

"What?"

"Blonde bombshell, 3 o'clock."

I looked and there was Stassie heading right toward us. Trouble was staring me dead in the face.

"Hey," Stass says nonchalantly. She keeps her head high, sending a clear message that her pride came first.

Troye stepped in front of me, looking her up & down with a quizzical brow as he sipped his coffee. "Whatever you have to say to her, you can say it to me first. I'll be the judge if I like it or not so I'd choose my next words carefully."

Stass scoffed. "Where did you rent this guy?" She asked me, looking past Troye. "Anyway, Ellie--"

"I don't think you heard me correctly," Troye interrupted her. "So you can stop acting like I'm not here."

I've never seen so much neck rolling my life.

"Listen little guy," Stass bit back a laugh. "You can lower your weapons, I'm not gonna bite her head off."