Summer Escape

The Walk of Shame

After rushing out of Jack's apartment faster than a cheetah in the Sahara I took a taxi back to Danielle and I's apartment. It's kinda weird that I'm calling it our apartment now. I took the elevator up to our floor, then quietly tried to open the door. To my dismay, Danielle was already awake, situated on a stool, ready for interrogation.

"Sooooo.... How was your night with Jack?" Danielle smirked.

"I was knocked out." I answered bluntly.

"Oh that good huh?" She bit her lip and giggled.

"Ew no Danielle!" Her comment made me want to throw up in my mouth. "I passed out at the concert and I guess he thought it'd be okay to tell no one and just bring me to his house!" I ranted, anger clear in my voice.

"Oh so you're irritated because he decided to be a nice guy?" Her sarcasm annoyed me.

"Danielle! He's a complete stranger that brought me to his home, I thought you'd be a little more concerned." I threw my arms in the air before placing them on my hips.

"Okay I don't know what your issue is with strangers, but Jack is definitely not a stranger. And you clearly don't want him to be." I'm not used to someone being this blunt.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked getting defensive.

"I mean you could cut the sexual tension between you guys with a knife." Before I could throw some sarcastic response back there was a knock at the door. I groan then go answer.

"Who is i- Jack? What are you doing here?" He steps into the apartment without being invited in before explaining himself.

"I just wanted to apologize for scaring you, I just wanted to help. I should've told Danielle that you passed out and let her take you home but she was having fun and I didn't think you'd mind....but you clearly did." He blurted out, not looking me in the eyes once.

I let out a deep breath before saying, "it's okay.. I'm just a little more paranoid than most people."

"I'm really sorry." He said again, then embraced me in an unexpected hug. I froze before hugging him back. I glanced over his shoulder and saw Danielle mouth "with a knife" which caused me to roll my eyes. She's so full of it.

"Okay well I have to go," Jack pulls away and walks out the door, but not before popping his head back in to say, "I'll text ya later." And then he was gone. Before he had even made it down the hall, Danielle had already begun to interrogate me. "So what is it? Are you like gay or something?"

"What no?! What are you talking about about."

"If it's not that then what is it? I can tell you like Jack and he most certainly likes you but for some reason all you do is push him away." I stood in front of her, astounded that she was trying to confront me about this. My frustration to the question prevented me from thinking before I responded.
"It's none of your business." I scolded, "I have a headache, I need a nap." I stormed away before she could react, I can't keep thinking about this.

"How come I've never seen you around campus?" He asked after making me almost drop my food in the campus cafeteria.
"I don't know... When I'm not in class, I'm usually in my dorm."
"A pretty girl like you should get out more."
"Hmmm and I'm guessing by get out you mean go out with you."
"If that's something you'd be interested in." He smirked, a mesmerizing smirk.
"I'll think about it." I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm...
"Wait I need to know your name."
"Phoebe."
"Hi phoebe...I'm josh."

I woke up panting, why won't he leave me alone. I can't do it anymore, I can't keep this in. I glanced in the mirror before retreating to the livingroom. Beads of sweat were lying at the corners of my forehead, my eyes were red and I had a bad case of bed head. I emerged from my room to find Danielle scrolling through Netflix. I sat down on an empty cushion next to her, in silence, letting my body sink into the leather. Finally I spoke up.
"I'm sorry I lost my temper with you earlier." Both eyes still faced forward.

"It's okay, I know you were frustrated with yourself, not really mad at me." This made me turn to her, it was utterly unbelievable how she could read my mind and I didn't even have to say anything.

"Right well, we've gotten really close over the past month or so that I've been here and I have something to tell you that I have not shared with anyone else but it's killing me to keep inside any longer." Now she was facing me, curiosity in her eyes.
"Go on." Was all she said.
"There's a reason I moved out here. And there's a reason I didn't want to stay long at first. And there's a reason I didn't want to stay with you at first. And there's a reason why I won't let Jack in."
"Okay, what is it?" She interrupted me, clearly just wanting me to reach my point.

"There was a guy. Back where I'm from. We met in college, and we were in love. His name was Josh." The memories sent shivers down my spine. "Our relationship happened fast but we were in love. Then suddenly he started to act really....strange. He became possessive and he wouldn't let me go out with my friends and he would freak out if I even spoke to another guy. He almost broke our waiters arm on a date one time because his eye contact with me lingered too long. I was afraid of him. I tried to break up with him, several times, but he would just tell me I was over reacting and he would act as if I had never broken up with him the next time I saw him, it was a nightmare. I couldn't go to my parents, I didn't want to put anymore people I care about in danger. So I left in the middle of the night, grabbed the bare necessities and took a bus to the furthest place I could buy a ticket to." By the time I had reached the end of my story I was holding back tears and even Danielle had let a few slip out. There was a moment of silence then Danielle embraced me in a hug.
"I'm so sorry."
"Me too." I whispered over her shoulder. When we pulled apart I said, "so that's why I wouldn't let myself fall for Jack. I don't exactly trust strangers."
She took a deep breath and then responded, "I can't pretend to know what you went through but Phoebe, you can't let one psychopathic asshole keep you from meeting new people," she paused and her eyes grew softer, "or keep you from finding a new person to love." I nodded my head, I knew she was right but I didn't tell her the whole truth. Yes I was afraid of letting Jack in because I didn't want to get hurt again, but  I was more afraid of what if he found me. I couldn't let him hurt more people that I cared about, I couldn't lose anyone else.