Not So Much Love

Midnight Show

Date: January, 3, 2015.

"Happy fucking new years." Alex sighed, taking a drag from her cigarette. Blowing the smoke out into the cool air, she was leaning on her balcony. One Direction went out to America to perform at the ball drop in New York, they had only got back other days ago. At the moment, Alex had The Neighborhood's album I Love You playing on her dock. Now, of course Zayn was there. She finished her cigarette with one last drag before putting it out on her arm. The burning pang hit her arm, she loved it.

"You burn yourself, why?" Zayn looks at her, taking a drag.

"Practicing for hell." She said deadly. "Let's go inside, it's getting colder. Are you spending the night?" She looks over at him, heading back inside her living room. He shrugs,

"Whatever." He takes a final drag, then putting it out on the ashtray. He walks inside, closing the door. He looks over, seeing Alex isn't in the living room. "Probably in her room..." He mumbles to himself. He walked into her room.

"I was thinking about moving to London, after I finish school." She said, as she takes off her bra, putting on a baggy t-shirt. She turns around to look at him. Alex heads to her washroom, taking out her contacts. Putting them away.

"London?" He questions.

"Yeah, the Youtube creators space is there. I have a few ideas with videos and stuff, plus I want to take youtube more seriously, and possibly turn it into a job and stuff." She shrugs, going to sit on her bed.

"I see, well. If you do move, where would you live?" He asks, sitting next to her.

"I don't know, it depends really, I finish uni at the end of the year." She looks over at him, he snakes his arms around her waist, pulling her down on her bed.

"Arah! What are you doing?" She laughs. He doesn't respond, but he nuzzles his nose in the crook of her neck. She laughs again.

"It tickles." She giggles, trying to control her laugh. He left a small kiss on behind her ear.

"You can be really adorable at times." He whispered. Alex started to chew her bottom lip.

"Uh, thanks?" She turns around, facing him. She studied his face, he was looking at her lips, biting the corner on his bottom lip. He smiles a bit, pushing some hair behind her ear. He lifts her chin, pressing his lips against hers. Her cheeks started to burn a bit, slowly, she starts kissing back. Soon, he pulls away. The two stay quiet for a while.

"You can live at my place if you move to London, I mean. I'm barely there anyways. With tours and all. You can like pay rent, and stuff for the room. Which wouldn't at all be expensive." He shot out.

"That could work." She shrugs. Later, she booped his nose.

"You are just a cutie, oh my gosh. If I didn't know you. I would touch myself to pictures of you." She laughs quietly. He laughs too.

"I can say the same for you." He pinches her cheeks.

"What just happened was really weird, and awkward. I cannot believe I said that." She tries not to laugh. "But if you think about. Girls around the word probably do masturbate to you guys." She laughs, covering her face. She soon, sits up.

"I am hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry..." She mumbles, rolling off her mattress. Grabbing her glasses, putting them on. She quickly shuffles to her kitchen. "Very, very hungry..." She mumbles again, opening, and looking through the fridge. Zayn comes up behind her.

"You know you're not suppose to eat after 8o'clock, right?" Alex turns her head.

"Hey? Shut up." She continues to look in the fridge. She grabs some cheese and tomato sauce, then the small jar of margarine. She also got the bag of bread from the top of the fridge. She shut it. She made herself a pizza pocket, by buttering both the slides of bread, spreading the sauce and slicing the cheese to pit on top. She cooked it on her grill.

"Do you want one?" She offered. Zayn shrugged.

"Sure." He said, she made him one. After a few minutes they food was done. She grabbed a plate, and places them on, she put away the stuff and walked over to her sofa. Putting the plate on the table. She grabs her tv remote, turning it on. She starts to channel surf. She found nothing, and went to the recordings. She pressed on an episode of Chelsea Lately. She recently started to watch that talk show, and thought it was very funny. At some point in the show, she was using Zayn's lap as a pillow. She glanced up at him, he was on his phone.

"What ya doing?" She asks, trying to look at him, and the tv.

"Texting my girlfriend." He said nonchalantly. Alex's eyes widen, and she shot up. Her forehead, and his smashed.

"Ow, fuck!" She rubbed her forehead to ease it. "You have a fucking girlfriend?!" She shouts, he let out a groan of pain.

"Y-yeah..?" He looks at her.

"What the fuck! For how long?"

"Four years-ish."

"We fucking had sex! Oh my God. Oh my God. We were out too, holy shite." She started to freak out.

"Well, you know what. She broke up with me." He sighs.

"No shit she did! I would have too! Poor girl... Oh my God. I'm responsible for this! I am responsible for the break of a world famous boy band member's breakup!"

"Uh, Perrie, my now ex. Is in Little Mix." He add.

"Holy fuck." She rubs her temples, pacing now. "They won X-Factor that year! Oh my God, oh my fucking God." She started to freak out even more. "I need a smoke.." She mumbles, rushing over to the table, snatching the pack off. She quickly got on out, picking up the lighter on the table also, lighting up the cigarette. Alex took in a long drag. Huffing it out. Smoke came from her nose, giving her a bull like effect. So many emotions were going through her head, anger, confusion, shocked, despair, envy. She she surprised also. But to her surprise, she envy Perrie at that moment. That's when a rush of thoughts shot through her head. Was she actually having feeling for Zayn? She asked herself over and over. She glanced at him with a sigh. She knew a way to see if she was actually attracted to him, when you force your brain no, your eyes can alway tell the truth.

"You better tell her, it's all your fault." She eyed him.

"My fault?! How the hell is it my fault?!" He asked, surprised.

"Don't even start with me, Zayn Malik." She took another drag. Puffing out smoke. She pushed her hair back, sitting back on her sofa.

"Is she mad at me...?" Alex asked in a small voice after a few minutes of silence,

"I don't know, Diya, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be saying that to me." It was true, Alex didn't need an apology. She thought Perrie did, the poor girl. It made Alex feel guilty, very guilty.

"I'm going to sleep. Goodnight." She announced, burning out her cigarette on her arm; once more. She flicked it away onto the ashtray. Shuffling herself to her room, she shut her door, she quickly went inside her washroom. Shutting and locking the door. She stared at herself, dead in the eye. She focused ever so closely on her pupils.

"Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik." She mumbled to herself, picturing him in her head. She watched, and focused. Her pupils grew bigger at the thought of him.

"Fuck!" She slammed her fists on the counter. Alex likes Zayn, she didn't want to like him, she doesn't want to have feeling for him. She took a deep breath. Marching out of her washroom, and bedroom. She went straight into the living room, stood in front of him. She gently grabbed his face by the jawline, bringing his head up. She started to kiss him. And you know what? He was kissing her too.

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