I fell in love with him

Chapter 5

The summer holidays went by, but the pain didnt seem to go away. Everything she saw reminded her of that night. The night which was meant to be so special to her but got ruined by just one boy.

"Ally I need to speak to you" her mum looked concerned and gestured her over to the breakfast bar. "What" her eyes were all puffy red and bruised from no sleep, she hadnt eaten much because the thought of eating made her feel sick. And sleep was out of the question.

"What's happened? You look terrible, I've never seen you like this. Ever since that party" Ally cut in, "I just don't feel well that's all, no more drinking for me" she faked a smile. But she never drunk anything.

She just got drugged and raped. But she couldn't tell her mum, she wouldn't be able to see the look on her face if she fount out her baby girl was ruined physically and mentally.

"Okay but if you don't get better I'm taking you to a doctor" Ally opened her arms for a hug, her mum was surprised, but these arms made her feel safe, away from everything. Her eyes swelled up with tears but she blinked them away before anyone can notice. Holding her in silence she just stared into nothing.

Ally had ignored all the messages that Louise had sent the whole holiday, she was dreading going back to school. There was one thing though that seemed to take away the pain. As she sat on her bed getting her school stuff ready she picked up her sleeve and saw scars newly done.

Ally was never the type of girl to do this but it made her feel better, she'd always tell everyone that it's stupid to do it. But when your sitting in the bathroom on the floor crying and all you have in your head is how it hurt. You want the pain to go away.

She wasn't stupid enough to kill herself though, she knew she wasn't strong but she wasn't weak, weak enough to hurt others around her.

Dylan had been out a lot and when she really needed to talk to someone she had always thought about telling him. But then when it would come to it she would blank it out.

Every night around 3am she would wake up with hot sweats crying her eyes out. Grabbing hold of the pillow and sobbing into it to stop her from waking anyone up.

Life was perfect. Nothing was wrong, if only she didn't go to the party!

She would occasionally stare at herself in the mirror and just stare at herself, wondering why she deserved this.

Will it ever go away? Why me?

It was time for bed, it all came flooding back to her, she didn't want to go to school. And she felt physically sick.

She closed her eyes, grabbing herself tight. Legs to her chest. Head on her pillow and fell asleep.

Tomorrow was a new day, a day she had to confront all of the anxieties that she has had over the holiday. Tomorrow it will happen.