I have a lot to hate Ryan for. Breaking my heart not least on that list but I do owe him credit where credit is due and, well without him I wouldn't have this story. You see Ryan was the Student Council President, team captain for the football and soccer ball teams and, apparently, the biggest undercover man whore in our school.
So now that you know a bit about him maybe I should tell you about me. My dad left us when I was ten, my sister was thirteen and my mom would most likely shoot me if I put her age as any more than twenty-nine. My sister and I fought a lot as kids but after that we just seemed to get along. Her enemies became mine and my enemies became hers. We were a unified force- the three of us. Until my sister dropped the bomb that made all those enemies multiply and become unbearable.
"Mom, Kat, I have something I need to tell you," she told us at supper one night. My mom tilted her head in curiosity and I sucked up a long spaghetti noodle that left a trail down my chin.
"We already know you're a loser," I sassed in that grating thirteen-year-old way.
"I think I'm lesbian."
My mom developed a look for that word for years to come, a look of understanding and yet careful contemplation. "Well," she said after a while, "at least I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant. Do you think you're lesbian or know?"
"I know. Definitely know."
"Well that's dandy then," my mom said giving that look again. "How was your day at school,Kat?"
And that was the end of that conversation. After that everything to do with my sister's interest became an integral part of our lives. The two of them, my mom and sister, came to some sort of unspoken agreement that no girls could sleepover which seemed reasonable to me. My sister did have a lot of guy friends though and quite often they would spend the night.
I loved -love- my sister but this was a challenge for me in our small town. Everyone knew, everyone judged. I was willing to accept my sister at whatever the cost but the faster highschool approached the steeper the price became.
In middle school I was down to one friend, Tyler, everyone else fled like homosexuality was contagious. (For those misguided few of you here's the memo you must have missed: it's not). The year before high school Kent joined our little party. And on that faithful week before high school, when your stomach is in a knot and you can't fathom surviving in the cruel harsh reality of highschool, they broke the news to me. Well me and the rest of the world by getting married via Facebook. Devastating way to find out, n'est-ce pas? Not even face to face. So that didn't help boost my status in the modern day homophobic society.
That's why when Ryan came and sat next to me at that assembly I should have known something was up but I couldn't think properly. You know those romance novels with boys with flat chest and golden hair? That was him through and through. He also had those immaculate white teeth that could have blinded someone if he'd used the full wattage of his smile.
"Hey." That was all he said. That was all he said after that I was riveted on him his eyes, his shoes, his smile, his frown lines, his hands, everything. My mouth opened and shut a couple times against my volition.
"Hi."
"I was wondering, well... I don't really know how to ask but... My friends are having a total awesome BBQ on the beach. You should be there. As my, you know, date."
"But we're not dating," I mumbled.
"Maybe if things work out well at the BBQ as I hope then we will be." Then he winked back over his shoulder and left.
"I'd bang him," Tyler commented staring at his ass.
