*April's P.O.V*
"Dont touch me... "I said
I could feel cold hands on me... Dry lips kissing my legs.
I cant move, its disguisting and horrible.
That face, those words even the smell...
I try to move, to jump, to do whatever but I cant... And I know whats going to happen and I wish I was dead.
I feel everything happen as my eyes shut and the tears are falling like rivers on my cheeks. Im never going to forget this, this is his revenge, and I cant do anything. Im never going to get over this, I open my eyes and see that tattoo on his arm, his arm thats holding me tight. And I see another one in the chest, the chest thats pressing me over, so hard I can barely brathe. I want this to kill me, I dont want to live it, Ibcant.
I make one more try to move, to run, to do something... But then...
I felt him, in that space Ibnever wanted him to be, that place he has begged for years.
And in that moment Ivfelt ripped apart, broken from the out to the inside, dirty like a fucking whore...
Im never going to forget this...
I try to talk but I think my shock dosent even let me scream, im paralized and I feel im braking apart.
I want to be dead, I really want to.
Love never worked, happiness never worked, but when it comes to bad stuff life always fucks me up.
I could never have anything but in this moment I dont even have myself, im dirty and if this dosent kill me I wil, I cant live with it.
The pain I feel is excruciating... This is killing me, and I wish it does.
On a whiplash he stands me up and I have no strenght, and I dont even know why the hell hes doing this...motherfucker...
He stand me up in front of a mirror and what I see leves me breathless...
Bruises and cuts, and blood in my legs... Im miserable, I feel im going to pass out and I do....
Shaking, swelling, crying.... I wake up
My heart is racing and there are tears in my face I cant hold down....my head pounds and I barely breathe....That never happened, that never happened... It was just a bad dream...
Nightmares...
There comming back, like everything else, peoples judgements... Im so scared...
But fuck the nighmares...
I try to forget, im trying to come back to reality, it was just a bad dream. Only a bad dream.
I think I never went throught that after all. Its all in my mind still. Everything I will never let myself go throught... And sometimes I want to die just because I cant change what happens, cant stop nightmares, cant make people change of opinion. Sometimes I dont know if my life is a mess or a lie....
