Destiny

Destiny: 9

I knocked on the door of the fortune teller's  caravan and she opened the door almost immediately. ''I've been expecting you.'' She said, smiled and opened the door wider, gesturing for me to go inside.

''Of course you did.'' I muttered and walked into the caravan. I sat down on the horrible couch where I had also sat the last time and pushed the cat away when it scratched my arm. Again.

The woman sat down on the chair opposite me and smiled at me. ''How can I help you, Matt?''

''You know that already.'' I said annoyed and rolled my eyes.

She laughed and nodded. ''Yes, I do. I just like the way you reply to the things I say.''

I rolled my eyes and she laughed again. ''Just help me, please.''

''I can't,'' she said, suddenly very serious. ''I brought you two together, but I can't help with the fights or anything else. That's not my job, you've to do it yourself. But believe me, it will be okay. Dom and you will get through this and everything will be alright.''

I looked angrily at her, rose from the couch and walked outside. ''You're the shittiest fortune teller I've ever seen.'' I spat and placed my hands on my hips.

''I'm the only fortune teller you've ever been to.'' she said with a grin and I walked away. I heard her shout my name but ignored her and walked quickly to Colin's school.

Why could no one help me for fuck's sake!

After dinner I had a quick shower and crawled in bed. I pulled the duvet up to my chin and stared angrily at the wall. Why did I ruin everything I could? Why can't I just be a normal person and get laid like every normal person? I'm fucking pathetic. Yes. Yes, that's it. I'm the most pathetic human on Earth. No person could ever be more pathetic than me. I deserved this. I'm a failure. It was probably my destiny to die with 100 cats, even though I hated them.

I sighed deeply, rolled on my other side and closed my eyes tightly. Maybe I wouldn't wake up from my sleep anymore, that would be great. I shook my head and pinched my arm. I couldn't think like that. I had a fucking son I had to take care of. I had to get through this for him, because I couldn't see him in pain again.

It was a month later now and I finally decided to visit Dom again. I'd been thinking about being in a relationship with him the whole time and came to the conclusion that I should do it. I should be in a relationship with Dom. He was in love with me and... well, I think I love him. I mean... thinking about him makes me happy, so that means I'm in love, right?

Those thoughts came up right before I wanted to knock on Dom's front door and I frowned. ''Yes,'' I said to myself and nodded. ''I'm in love with him and I'm going to tell him that.''

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, twice. I looked up at Dom when he opened the door and smiled widely.

He frowned, opened the door wider and I walked inside. I took my shoes off in the hallway and walked to the living room. I looked at Dom, smiled and sat down on the couch. He sat down on a chair and nibbled on his bottom lip. ''What are you doing here?'' He asked after a few minutes of silence.

''I, erm... Well, you wanted me to think about us.. being in a relationship. And, well, I did that.'' I nodded.

Dom's face lit up but he quickly looked away, trying to hide it from me in case I would disappoint him. ''And?''

''I want to be in a relationship with you.'' I said softly and gulped.

He looked up at me, nodded and smiled. ''Good.''

I frowned, looked at my lap and back up at him. I scratched the back of my head and let out a confused sigh. ''Good?''

''Yeah, because I want that too.'' He giggled and I grinned.

Suddenly the stairs started to squeak. Dom's face got pale and I looked up confused. A man walked into the living room and I frowned. The man could have been me, but he was prettier. He had short, brown hair, blue eyes and ugly stubble like me. But his teeth were perfect, just like his nose.

''Morning, babe,'' he kissed Dom on the cheek and sat down on his lap. ''Who's that?'' I heard him whisper in Dom's ear and I looked at him. Dom looked back at me and gulped.

I rose from my chair and looked angrily at him. ''How dare you!'' I screamed. ''How dare you to act like you love me and then do something pathetic like this!''

''Matt, please,'' he said shakily and pushed the man off his lap, who landed on the ground with a dull thud. He stood up and began to cry. ''Please, Matt, listen to me. I beg you.''

''No!'' I shouted, ran to the hallway and put on my shoes quickly. ''I hate you! Leave me alone!'' I heard Dom wail and the other guy whisper something like, ''What a drama queen!''. I shook my head and ran out of the house, not able to listen to Dom's crying.

I ran to my apartment, locked the front door and texted Chris, asking if he could pick up Colin from school. I ignored the text I got back and curled up on the couch. I wrapped my arms around myself and started to cry. I kept crying until my eyes felt like they were going to pop out and rose slowly from the chair. I walked to the kitchen, made some chicken soup ready and tried to eat it, but with no success. Just after I had finished the soup, I gagged and threw up on the kitchen floor. I stared at it and let out a dry sob. I started to clean it up and walked to the shower. I turned it on, sat down and stared at the ground. Nobody liked me. Dom had a new boyfriend and I could never, ever be his. Nobody would notice it if I died, so why couldn't I just be dead?

Maybe I could.

I'd been searching for an hour when I finally found my gun. Why did I have one? Well, for protection against burglars and for the thing I'm about to do now. I grabbed the gun, curled up in the corner of the room and held it against my head. Just when I was about to pull the trigger, the front door opened and Dom, Chris and Colin walked inside. I looked startled up again and Colin's face went pale.

''Daddy!'' he screamed and ran to me, Chris and Dom following him quickly. He crawled in my lap and started to cry, trying to pull the gun out of my hand. ''Let it go! Let it go, daddy!''

Chris looked angrily at me and hit me hard on my cheek. ''Are you crazy?!'' he shouted, lifted Colin from my lap and put him in Dom's arms. ''How dare you even think about that when you've a son?!'' He looked at me accusingly.